An excellent article concerning a film in which men are asked to determine whether a story is a #MeToo story or porn. Ever notice how no body says porno any more? Of course, the results are (a) sad, (b) comical, (c) sadly comical, and (d) comically sad. As it turns out that 88.2% of all porn uses some kind of aggression towards women.
This then establishes a social norm! Think of norm as normal as in normal behavior. It seeps into the subconscious of men so that men start to believe that (a) men should be having A LOT of sex and (b) it’s okay to use aggression to get sex! Not only is it okay to use aggression, it is necessary. Oh, and (c) women like it.
Given that porn creates these beliefs and expectations in the minds of men — that’s what norms do, they help us predict social situations, what others will do, and what we should do. They are the rule that tells us what ought to happen in a situation. That’s why men can’t distinguish porn from sexual misconduct! Porn is sexual misconduct!
By getting men to consider whether a scenario is sexual misconduct or porn forces them to consider the elements of sex that they think is normal AND how it affects women. Men don’t realize how wide spread sexual harassment, sexual aggression, sexual assault is. We just don’t. We don’t see it. We don’t experience it. Men don’t realize how upsetting, disturbing, traumatizing it is either. We don’t experience it.
When men commit acts of sexual aggression, like catcalling or butt grabbing, they don’t even think of it as being misconduct. They think women like catcalling. It’s a complement. And, they have proof. women smile and sometimes answer back. But, women are smiling because it is uncomfortable and they are embarrassed and wish it would stop. They answer back because it is often better to do something than to do nothing. Since men are not on the receiving end of catcalling, we don’t know what it is like. Since men’s sexuality is different than women’s, we wouldn’t even be reacting to it the same way, anyway.
A truer analogy is men being catcalled by gay men. The targeted man would have to question whether he’s done something to cause this group of gay men to single him out. How should he react? What is everyone else thinking about him?
Men Try To Guess If These Situations Are Porn Or #MeToo Stories
Over 80 percent of porn scenes contain some form of physical aggression toward women.
By Alanna Vagianos
Porn or #MeToo?
That’s the question two filmmakers recently asked a group of men for a new video project titled “Be Frank.” Created by Dutch natives Damayanti Dipayana and Camilla Borel-Rinkes, “Be Frank” is a seven-minute film featuring men discussing the recent #MeToo movement and the role men can play in combating sexual violence.
“The project aims to close that gap and enables men to be part of the conversation and the solution,” Dipayana told HuffPost. “Additionally, being Dutch may have something to do with it … we’re known to be quite frank about any and every topic.”
Continue reading on the Huffington Post: Men Try To Guess If These Situations Are Porn Or #MeToo Stories | HuffPost
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Categories: ReBlogged
The Psy of Life 
Reblogged this on cabbagesandkings524 and commented:
Calico Jack discusses men’s inability to distinguish between scenarios of sexual harassment and porn. There’s a link to the source article.
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The social norms supported by porn also effect (infect?) women. I recall two relationships that never got off the ground (horizontally, so to speak) because the women in question expected a more aggressive (though not violent) approach on my part while I was in a “meet me half way” sort of mode. —- excellent article and link.
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Porn really does distort our sense of what human sexuality should be. I’m afraid the modern comforts, easy access to sweets, fats, and carbs, and the dopamine-rich environment of social media and electronic games are exposing the human brain for what it is an energy conserving, effort avoiding, pleasure seeking beast.
Huzzah!
Jack
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I’m reminded of this:
“If the headache would only precede the intoxication, alcoholism would be a virtue.”
Samuel Butler
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