We all know by now that National Security Advisor, complete caustic creep, and blackmailed-by-Putin-a-second-time, your favorite Lt. Gen. and mine, Mike Flynn, has resigned. There is so much to unpack here — and by unpack, I do mean unpack my impacted rectum — that I think I can do it in a quick thoughts post.
Apparently, the Ol’ Pussy Grabber walked Kellyanne Conway to the door of the White House as she was leaving to do her MSNBC interview, grabbed her by the pussy, pulled her close, and whispered huskily into her ear that he had full confidence in the old Russian-compromised flinty bastard, Mike Flynn. And, then as he wandered across the White House in his dressing gown rubbing his bare butt on things — thanks Wonkette for permanently staining my imagination with that image — he remembered that President Bannon had wheezed his whiskey breathe all over him and reminded him that he should be more presidential, so he figured that he would see the Spicy Sphincter before the presser. He grabbed him by the pussy, pulled him close, and told him that he was evaluating the situation. People was amazed that two contradictory statements could come out the Ol’ Pussy Grabber’s administration and both be true or that things could change so fast. Did these people just crawl out from under a burning dumpster yesterday? Sheesh. Pick up on it people, this is the unproductive malignant narcissist that we’re talking about.
Now, the Ol’ Pussy Grabber and the slime stains in Congress are talking about how terrible it is that there are leaks about top secret stuff the Ol’ Pussy Grabber would rather no one know about. LEAKS! How could this be? It had better be investigated right quick and the outrage of phone calls to the Russian embassy and Russian ambassador by ordinary American citizens who were merely violating the Logan Act were recorded! The American government RECORDED phone calls made by American citizens! There oughta be a law! Someone alert Congress, oh yeah, that was said by the Rep. Nunes (R – Head-in-Ass).
I expect for the FBI to tell me what is going on, and they better have a good answer. The big problem I see here is that you have an American citizen who had his phone calls recorded… Where are all the privacy groups screaming now?
Or, the Ol’ Pussy Grabber grabbing himself by the tweeter and posting about the real problem being the leaks.
The real story here is why are there so many illegal leaks coming out of Washington? Will these leaks be happening as I deal on N.Korea etc?
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) February 14, 2017
So, what could explain this blinding storm of shit flying in and around the White House this week? Well, it is called illusion of explanation, which is the feeling that people have when they think they understand a complex situation with “greater precision, coherence, and depth” than they actually do. If you listened to the Republicans talk about it, (a) there is nothing, NOTHING, wrong with wanting better relations with Russia, (b) the leaking from the IC has gotten out of hand, and (c) recording the communications of American citizens as they dance to the strings of their
Soviet Russian puppet masters is an outrage.
If you listened to this super-sized helping of derp this week, you might, just walk away thinking, Hey, they’re right! What is the FBI counterintelligence unit doing recording all incoming phone calls to the Russian embassy? Why is the IC leaking super-sensitive top-secret information that our effective and competent president needs to be kept top secret in order to do his competent presidenting and what is wrong with cuddling the Russian bear once in a while? NOTHING! If you had that reaction, (a) you’re a stooge, but (b) you’re an all too human stooge because without the added ingredient of CRITICAL THINKING, it all sounds reasonable. And, it is all designed to keep us all talking about whether it is reasonable or not and not thinking too deeply about why the fuck Mike Flynn was kvetching with the Russian ambassador about Obama’s sanctions after the Russians colluded to steal our presidential election and how the fuck could Mike Flynn be doing this without the Ol’ Pussy Grabber or Bannon having OKAY’d it and why the fuck didn’t the Ol’ Pussy Grabber tell his Veep all about it as it was happening and why the fuck doesn’t Mike Pence resign in an effort to salvage what little dignity and slim chance at a political career he has left?
My advice to everyone, though, is don’t be a fucking stooge! Question everything that comes out of this here lying hornets nest of stupidity and masturbatory self-indulgence.
We’ve got like one chance left to avoid the catastrophe of truly becoming the United FUCKING States of FUCKING Stupid.