Another celebrity accused of sexually harassing and sexually assaulting women, another slew of women saying I was sexually harassed and sexually assaulted, too. We live in a rape culture. Rape culture is a set of social norms that not only allow and promote sexual assault, but also protect the men who commit the offenses and punishes the women who report them. Witness Harvey Weinstein as the latest example in a long long line of examples. How many women have come forward to say that he had sexually harassed or sexually assaulted them? When it happened, the women were vulnerable; he had power over their careers with the implicit threat of hurting their careers if they said anything and the explicit promise to help their careers if they “cooperated” and allowed him to do whatever. But now, I presume accusers Angelina Jolie and Gwyneth Paltrow are somewhat immune from such threats and not in need of such promises so why did they wait so long? Because rape culture: we don’t want to hurt his career. Angelina Jolie was willing to be bait for George Fucking Cloney, for God’s sake!!! Oh, Joseph Kony. Joseph Fucking Kony, for God’s sake!!! What the hell, she’s afraid of Harvey Weinstein? Rape culture is what kept this motherfucker going. Rape culture is what is keeping this bad-assed woman from telling her story before now.
The Harvey Weinstein Story
Harvey Weinstein does not support the thesis that all men are potential rapists looking for the right situation; he’s one guy that has sexually aggressed on a lot of women. But, he and Bill Cosby and Bill Clinton and the Ol’ Pussy Grabber and so many others are the embodiment of our preferential treatment of the male aggressor over the female aggressee. He is the embodiment of women being isolated thinking they are the only one. He is the embodiment of women living in fear of being sexually assaulted and not being believed.
The lesson from Harvey Weinstein, Bill Cosby, Anthony Weiner, Bill Clinton, Roger Ailes, Bill O’Reilly, and the Ol’ Pussy Grabber is that if this guy is doing it to you, he’s done it to others. There’s a lot of talk in the media about how it is powerful important men who are doing these things, um, no. It is men more powerful and more important than the women they are abusing who are doing these things. And that is a lot of men fucking up a lot of women.
The Three Thought Experiments
Thought Experiment #1: The People in Your Daily Life It’s Okay to have Sex With
Sounds like fun, right? We all have sex fantasies all day long about the strangers we pass on the streets, the acquaintances we nod and smile at on public transport, the friends of our significant other, co-workers, and the list goes on and on. Those fantasies can be very intense and super-sexy, and we swear up and down to our selves that if it could just be we would and if there were no chance of getting caught and if and if and if, amirite? Come on, amirite? You know I’m right, right? I’m right, right? Or is it just me? No, it’s not! It’s all of us!
Here’s the thought experiment.
Step 1: List all the people of the gender you’re attracted to currently in your life on a daily basis.
Step 2: Mark the ones with whom it would be okay to have sex with or at least have make a pass at you. For real. Not for fantasy.
Step 3: Mark the ones with whom it would be okay for you initiate sex with or at least to make a pass at? Not a sex fantasy, but for reals.
Both steps 2 & 3 are wake up tomorrow morning see this person and BAM! Making out, heavy petting, stripping off the clothes, humping in the closet full-on real sex just like we have every day of our lives! Right? Or is that just me? Just kidding! It’s not me either… ever. Or grabbing you or them by the genitals, leering wink, and unexpected sloppy tonguey kiss. Again, like one does to the person in your daily life uninvited or at least unexpectedly.
How many names did you mark? Is there anyone? Would you let us know in the comments? It’s a surprising exercise, I think, because at first glance, you think, oh there’ll be lots because of the a fore mentioned sex fantasy with various and sundry strangers, acquaintances, friends, and co-workers, but when push comes to shove, there ain’t so many, amirite? And that’s why sexual aggression is so damaging. It violates the norms and boundaries so irrevocably that flirting and fantasy do not.
Thought Experiment #2: Denial of birth control a foundation of rape culture
Recently, the Ol’ Pussy Grabber moved to allow more employers greater latitude in providing insurance that covers contraception. In short, he’s expanded the size and types of employers who can apply for a waiver under the ACA and doubled the reasons they may do so from one, religious objections, to two,, moral objections, too.
Obviously, this is discriminatory against women since (a) men don’t buy contraceptives — condoms don’t count since they are one of the least effective forms because they are so difficult to use correctly, and many people use them to prevent STIs in addition to other contraceptive methods. Don’t give me the whole, I saw a lady at the mall put one on a watermelon to demonstrate how effective they were. Sure, anyone can stand in the middle of a crowded mall with hundreds of anguished on lookers cringing at the sight of and talk about a condom as it is carefully stretched round something a non-phallic as a watermelon. Try being drunk, tangled in bed sheets, lying on one arm, in a hurry in case the moment passes, and a little embarrassed to be using one in the first place, and then tell me how fucking easy it was to make sure it was put on correctly.
Anywho. How is denying women contraception rape culture? First of all, the entire science and industry of contraception puts the onus on women to make sure they don’t get pregnant. Women are the gate keepers for sex, men are the one’s battering down the doors. Men are so desperate for sex because women throughout the entire 200,000 year history of human kind, only the last 60 or 70 years have been spent with effective convenient contraceptive devices. It’s the pill, stupid. During the other 299,940 to 299,930 years it’s been women who have run the risk of getting pregnant every time she’s allowed one of those slippery dong-a-schlong-a-ding-dongs all up in there.
Women are viewed as property or worse in many societies, excepting some of those in equatorial climes. depending on the availability of resources. The scarcer the resources the more controlled and abused women have been. Men feel the need to control birth rates and do so by controlling who can have sex, when, and with which women. It is as simple as that. Men were put in charge of women’s sex by social and psychological evolution.
For the past 60 to 70 years, women have had the ability to have sex like gay men and it freaks the straight men out. If straight men only knew what their gay brothers were doing, they’d be tempted, I’m sure. Seriously, especially in the gay bathhouse scene in the 80’s, that was every straight man’s mad fantasy. If you only knew, girlfriend!
Denying women access to birth control denies them a fundamental equality but worse puts them in constant fear of getting pregnant if they dare have sex with men. Our fundamental drive is to reproduce through sexual reproduction, i.e. fucking. Women have the worst of both worlds: they wanna fuck, but they gots to make sure their situation is right for raising babies. They want a stable stick-around provider, but they also want the bad boy sowing his wild oats. It’s an evolved strategy. So, if she’s going to risk her stable stick-around and help raise the babies guy, it’s gotta be worth it, amirite? She ain’t gonna lay with another stability man just cause. But, men have evolved to sow their wild oats, and some boys have wilder oats than others. The wilder the oats, the lower the empathy, the more likely to sexually aggress. Thus, under the right circumstances, every man will commit sexual assault.
If sexual assault is hurting women by using sex as a weapon, and denying birth control increases the number of unwanted pregnancies, births, miscarriages, and abortions substantially, then denying birth control is sexual assault. All of these outcomes can be traumatic and damaging for women. Single motherhood has long been thought to be the fastest most direct route to poverty. That is hurting women using sex as a weapon. As Harvey Weinstein and the Ol’ Pussy Grabber himself have so amply demonstrated women don’t always get a choice in who they have sex with. And, if Terry Crews felt intimidated about speaking out and like he couldn’t make a scene when someone grabbed him by the pussy (240 lbs of tall hunky black acting man), then how is some 100 pound 5’5” waif going to? Shit, man, just asking the question puts you on the side of the rapist.
Without birth control, women have to take more chances to find sexual satisfaction. With birth control, women can have sex like gay men, which leaves straight men feeling suspicious that they may just be having gay sex and they just don’t know how they feel about that. They’re a little confused by it all.
Mind blown, man.
Thought Experiment #3: Criticizing Clinton & other women for not speaking out on Weinstein is rape culture
Okay, we know the motivated reasoning that obvious Clinton haters like Chris Sleazza and the Ol’ Pussy Grabber have for “calling” her out on not immediately jumping on her fake feminist soapbox and condemning her boy, Harvey Weinstein, for being gross with his dick and his hands and his dick in his hands towards women. Of course, if she were a fake feminist, don’tcha think she’d not miss a moment to be shrilly condemning all the misogynistic women-haters like Harvey Weinstein out there because shooting fish in a turkey, amirite?
But, what about the other people who are out there essentially blaming Clinton and other prominent women and the victims for Harvey Weinstein’s alleged difficulty of keeping his dick in his pants and out of his hands and outa other people’s hands when he’s orchestrated a “meeting” with a young woman and oops, the third party just happens to leave them alone in his hotel room kinda like Mother Pence not ever never leaving Mikie alone with womens during dinner — you just never know what might be served up on those plates, amirite Mother Pence? We all know, a woman smiles at a man, and then next thing you know, it is all outta control and dicks and underwears is flying and before you knows it there is cum in somebody’s pussy!
Those womens shoulda just knowed better than to be wearing those burqas and looking out through those wired screen viewing portals because what man could resist the come hither look those evil Eve eyes is giving all the innocent Adams and Steves out there.
Taking your eye off of Harvey Weinstein’s obscene guilt, and questioning any of the women’s stories, or any woman’s motivation for condemning him or not, is allowing Harvey Weinstein to share some of his guilt and responsibility for his crimes and offenses.
Men evolved to rape. We shouldn’t assume men are automatically guilty of rape when accused, but we should by default take the accuser’s side until the guilt or innocence of the accused is proven. Right now, we’re still playing the game of preserving Harvey Weinstein until his guilt is absolutely proven beyond even a shadow of doubt because we know what all the dick-loving dick-crazed gold-digging bitches out there be lying about fucking a man’s dick when her harlotty whoring self is caught having fucked his dick. She be all like, rape! You can’t trust no dick-loving dick-crazed bitches, can you? But, you sure as shit can trust a man who’s species evolved to commit rape when he says it was consensual sex with a splintery broken hunk a wood shoved up her unconscious ass, amirite Brock Turner?
That’s why doing anything other than making a space for the accusers to step forward and tell their stories so they can be investigated and this fucking mess can be sorted out is rape culture.