What is happening at Ye Olde Blogge this summer? Cosplaying 19th Century Poets? Really?

Programming Update: Cosplaying 19th Century British Poets

Way back on 11 July, I warned all y’all that Ye Olde Blogge was decamping to Tuscany by way of Zurich for a summer of cosplaying 19th Century British poets. Well, I hate to break it to y’all, but all that fun has come to an end. I know, we actually returned from our trip on 2 August, but we returned in some “medical” duress with my kidney stones requiring an immediate surgery.

In no particular order, I’ll provide a list of things that we did between now and last 11 July:

  • ALPINE GLACIER: We took the famous Bernina Express through the Swiss Alps on our way back to Zurich and were treated to the unique spectacle of the death throes of one of the last Alpine glaciers. Don’t worry, you don’t have to hurry because you’ve probably got a couple of years to see it if that’s on your bucket list, but make plans to go.
  • SPEAKING GERMAN: In the run-up to our trip to Switzerland and Italy, Ma Belle Femme took on Italian, and I haunted my long-dead high school German teacher — Sorry, Herr Richter — by reviving my German — It all comes back except for one tablespoon, my ass! It all goes away except for one tablespoon is more like it! It’s not like it mattered anywho, the damn Swiss ALL seem to speak better English than I do. Still, when I could, I spoke German to whoever would sit still long enough for me to. There probably are Youtube videos of me chasing startled and frightened Zurichers down the street shouting indecipherable broken German at them. Look for them, and share them in the comments!
  • HOSPITAL DRESSING GOWNS: Once again, we had a vacation augmented by kidney stone issues (The gift that keeps on giving). Silver lining, I was able to add to my already extensive collection of selfies hospital dressing gowns from around the world. While I’m sure rule 34 applies, I’m surprised that there isn’t more made about hospital fashion on social media. The dressing gown at Universitats Spital Zurich Hospital was easily the most obscene I’ve worn. They didn’t even try to have it attach in the back. It just draped around you hanging open like curtains. Still, great service and medicine. Trust me, I’ve sampled a wide variety from around the world, they were great.
  • I GOT SHOT BY A LASER! Of course, all of the discomfort that necessitated a visit to a Swiss ER was due to a ginormous kidney stone blocking a ureter. So for the third time this year, I had surgery to remove a damn stone! This time it was SIX MILLIMETERS. It was so big that it freaked out the ER doc at USZ, but my Phnomenal doc calmly cut it with a laser when he couldn’t get it out of my ureter. TMI, I know, but I have pictures if anyone is interested. Rule 34 be damned. Anywho, it is another one off of my shadow bucket list: Shot by a laser.
  • TUSCANY VILLA: The villa we rented slept twelve, more if you were willing to get cozy. It also had a pool, outdoor grill, brick pizza oven, and a view of the hills that swept Lord Byron off of his feet. The main part of the building was built in the 19th century to accommodate monks in some capacity. The add-ons were added on sometime late in the 20th to accommodate more visitors. It got renovated as the AirBnB thing took off in the early 21st century. To quote Arlo Guthrie, it was off the side road of a side road, but we didn’t dump no garbage, but we did have dinners that couldn’t be beat.
  • EUROPEAN ARCHITECTURE: One of my favorite things is that I wasn’t born and raised in Europe. If you grew up in one of those towns that originated as a Medieval village with all those old buildings, you’d’ve hated it and couldn’t wait to leave all that old stuff behind and get to somewhere modern. Now, I can visit as an old man and appreciate seeing a 1,000 year old building and read the original inscription. While it is all overrun by tourists, there is something about walking the narrow winding streets, seeing the historical architecture still being used, and wondering what it was like before we all got modernized.
  • ITALIAN WINE: Another of my favorite things about visiting Europe is the high quality cheap wine that is available in grocery stores. It is amazing. No headaches here.
  • I2I3: Can we all agree to start referring to Trump as I2I3 like some common inept criminal Star Wars bot? If it weren’t so sad, it would be comical.

And, now for some pictures:

Florence and the villa
  • This is the front of Santa Maria Novella in Florence, Italy
    Santa Maria Novella is outside of the main Florence train station where we arrived from the airport. It is also just around the corner from the fabulous AirBnB apartment we stayed in.
  • The flower strewn entry to Santa Maria Novella Pharmacy
    Just around the corner from the Santa Maria Novella church is Santa Maria Novella Pharmacy and Perfumery. It is the oldest pharmacy in continuous operation in the world — 600 years young and counting.
  • The Tuscany villa
    This is the back of the villa we stayed in. The part made completely of stone is the original building constructed in the 19th century. The other pars were added on in the 20th century.
  • Doorways in the villa
    Even the doorways in the villa took your breath away. This is looking from the brick pizza oven through a dining room into the kitchen and at one of the outside doors.
  • The dining and living rooms
    Even though this is one of the newly added on parts of the villa. Still it had the lovely exposed wooden rafters and exposed stone of the original building. Looking from the brick oven pizza area down the length of the building.
  • The sitting room
    We didn’t use this room much. Had we been here in winter, it would’ve been much more popular. It is in part of the original building.
  • The kitchen
    The vaulted roof really made the kitchen. It was big enough to produce meals for twelve and accommodated our two weeks worth of groceries.
  • Bedroom
    Every bedroom had an ensuite bathroom, which was great because some smells can’t be unsmelt, if you know what I mean.
  • Baking a pizza in the brick pizza oven
    It was quite the memorable evening when we invented the pizzeria. It’s amazing the insights you gain when you do something for the first time. Luckily, it was cool enough in the Tuscan hills to let us make pizzas for everyone!
The Bernina Express
  • The circular viaduct on the Bernina Express run
    There is a section of the tract that goes in a 360 degree circle in order to make the altitude necessary to start the mountain pass. It is famous. Trust me. Okay, don’t; google it then.
  • A random woman on the Bernina Express
    There was a large tour on the train with us. They took up one whole car. This woman was the tour guide and she sat in our car for some reason. Anywho, we collaborated for this picture as we left a station. It was quite spontaneous.
  • A mountain village
    The train ride is a quite the milk run stopping at every village along the way. It puts you in touch with your inner Heidi.
  • The train snaking along an Alpine lake
    There were no bad views from the train. Everything was gorgeous even though you can see it was cool and rainy… and I was having tremendous kidney stone issues.
  • The valley far below
    Since you are passing over, through, and between mountains, you get some breathtaking views.
  • So much altitude gained
    We gained so much altitude that our bag of chips inflated like it was on an airplane.
  • The death throes of a glacier
    The water just poured off of the glacier, but there were no snow capped mountains to speak of. While it was incredible, it was quite sobering to realize that it was dwindling away into nothing.
Random sites from Tuscan Villages

I’ve lost track of which town or village these pictures are from. The curse of modern digital photography.

  • The decorative flourishes of our forebears
    I was amazed at the decorativeness of the buildings in all of the villages. They put our modern buildings to shame.
  • A lion and pigeon
    Pigeons rule all urban landscapes in spite of the anti-bird spikes. A beautiful Renaissance lion makes a great perch for a modern pigeon.
  • The original insignia on a thousand year old building
    Even though it had been eleven hundred years since these words and images were carved into the stone, it still looked pretty good.
  • The thousand year old church in small town Tuscany
    The architecture and design has held up well over the past millennia. Found in a small town in Tuscany where we stopped for lunch on our way from Florence to our villa.
  • This is the church that started the Renaissance in Florence
    You can just see the dome peaking out between the facade of the Florence Cathedral and the campanile. It is the dome that was the architectural insight that allowed the Renaissance buildings to flourish. Soon, everyone was building them some domes.
  • Door decorations
    The doors were amazing. I loved the decorations that festooned the doors. Even the plainest doors had something on them.
  • Another Renaissance lion
    The fountain in the square outside the eleven hundred year old church. The water is potable. Several people paused to fill bottles and cups during our stay.
  • Building decorations on a Medieval building
    The decorations have taken some damage over the centuries, but they still are decorative.
  • The still functioning buildings
    I just marvel at the buildings that are still in use. Most date from the 15th century.
  • Bike tour in Tuscany
    Although it is a decoration for a restaurant, it tells you the importance of wine in Italian culture.
  • The brilliant narrow and winding streets
    The views were breathtaking. I just can’t get over how timeless it all seemed.
  • An iron dragon sconce
    We found this dragon on the side of a building in a Tuscan village. We were being swept along by the tourist tide, so I was happy to have had this fellow catch my eye.
  • An festive owl
    The building is old, the owl is newish, and the effect is timeless.

Anywho, that was our summer vacation. School doesn’t start for a couple more weeks. I’m still having kidney stone treatments with more ESWL — where they use modern technology to go all Muhammed Ali on your kidney stones — before school starts. We can squeeze it in.

Let me know about your summer in the comments!

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Image Attribution

A photo of the Florence Cathedral by me completely unlicensed so do with it as you will.