Rarely, do I share straight news stories here on Ye Olde Blogge. Mostly because I figure we all read the news and the most popular stories are equally available to all of us, and seldom do any of them warrant either the snarky, sarcasticky, or profaney treatment that we give our posts here at the Psy or are better understood by psychological principles, theories, or findings. This story isn’t an exception to either of those. It is just a FESTIVUS MIRACLE!

On Festivus Day a man was pulled out of an 18-inch hole in the beach near San Diego. I know what you’re thinking, no body drills an 18-inch hole into the beach, and you’re right. It is not what you’re imagining. It looks like it was some kind of deteriorating retaining or erosion control wall — checks with legal — allegedly, as we say in the news business. I mean, that was my assumption based on the video I watched. What do you think (screenshot from NBCNews story)?

This is what I imagine happened. This fella is walking along the beach in the Sunset Cliffs area of San Diego along some broken concrete slabs made slippery by the surf. He slips and bounces like a pinball between slabs and, eventually lands in the trough or out hole like every pinball eventually does. He must have been quite surprised and disbelieving and more than a little pissed off. I know I would be.

What a fucking unbelievable situation. Okay, maybe the story does deserve some profaney treatment. Look at that hole and its situation among the debris (screenshot from NBCNews story). How unlucky do you have to be to end up in that situation? The poor dumb fuck.

Worse, he’s pinned. He cannot be simply pulled out of the hole or climb out or otherwise shimmy out of the hole.

Apparently he’s in there for days. Days. DAYS! Pissing and shitting on himself. They never mention that in any of the movies or news coverage, but you know it’s true. No food or water. Crabs and other bugs crawling all over him. Christ what a situation, amirite?

Some teenagers heard him. Of course, teenaged boys were out on some derelict concrete embankment. Who know why teenage boys do anything, but when I was that age, that’s where I was and that’s what I was doing. You might think they responded with the Bart Simpson, HA ha! but immediately after that, they tried to pull him out. They could reach his hand, but he was pinned.

In the smartphone age, everything is recorded (screen grab from NBCNews story). I just can’t get over how tight the space is. It even has a little protective overhang. How the fuck do you end up in that situation? Seriously, was he scouting for a Feat of Strength for his Festivus celebration?

The boys called authorities, who commenced a rescue operation, but it wasn’t easy. It took them until the next day to get him out, once they got started. It was a whole ordeal.

Read it for yourself, watch the video, and let me know what you think in the comments.

California man who fell into narrow 18-inch hole freed after 18-hour rescue mission

The man told firefighters that he had been screaming for days and wasn’t sure how long he had been trapped.

23 December 2023 by Minyvonne Burke

A man who slipped and fell into a narrow hole in the Sunset Cliffs area of San Diego County, California, was freed Friday following an 18-hour rescue mission.

The man, who has not been identified, was spotted Thursday afternoon. He had fallen under broken concrete sections of the side of a cliff near the water, San Diego Fire-Rescue Department said in a post on X, and was pinned from the waist down.

The opening was only 18 inches and the space below was small, the department said.

Continue reading at NBCNews.

If you enjoyed by recap and commentary on this Festivus Miracle, please consider doing one of the following:

  • SHARE this story with someone anyone who might be even remotely interested or even completely uninterested, please.
  • LIKE or RATE the post using the like button below or the stars above — the ones at the top of the article, not the ones in the sky! You have to say that, honest, some people.
  • COMMENT on the post. I’d love to know what Festivus miracles happened in your life this year and what you think of the story or if you’ve seen a follow up to it.
  • FOLLOW the blog or join our growing — really, we added a person just the other day — email list.

Image Attribution

This image was generated using Poe’s StableDiffusionXL bot using the prompt, Create a cartoon-image of a human pinball falling into a hole