SUMMARY: Trump has brought back a zombified version of the Monroe Doctrine, the Dumbroe Doctrine in whose name we can shoot ourselves in the foot as he grinds our democracy, world standing, and economy into dust. There are three main pillars to the Dumbroe Doctrine: (a) taking Venezuelan oil, (b) taking Greenland from Denmark, and (c) giving away our world markets by losing a trade war. The Man with the Feculent Touch strikes again!

KEY WORDS: Trump, Monroe Doctrine, Dumbroe Doctrine, Feculent Touch, Venezuela, Oil, Greenland, Denmark, NATO, European Allies, China, Mark Carney, Davos

COMMENT: Trump’s wild ride to distract us from Epstein and Jack Smith’s testimony has culminated in destroying the international rules-based world order. Where do we go from here?

  1. America Exit World Stage Left
  2. Venezuelan Oil Money Keeps America Free of Drugs
    1. The Caribbean Sea is a Ghost Town
    2. Drowning in Petrodollars
    3. The Economic Madness of Venezuelan Oil
    4. Nationalization of Venezuelan Oil and Gas
    5. How Much You Wanna Bet?
  3. Trumpland, Expanding for Expansion Sake!
  4. Doing Better Without US
  5. Image Attribution

One thing that the Orange TACO Stain can be relied upon for is that if you give him enough rope, he’ll shoot everyone in the gonads and blame… let’s see, whose the enemy du jour, oh yes, Jack Smith. Unable to hold two thoughts in his head at once, he reveals his most significant fear in his posts. He has been attacking Jack Smith relentlessly in the run up to his public testimony on his social media as well as spewing word salad about Greenland… Or is it Iceland. I can’t be sure after that grab garbage bag of a Davos speech he gave. Maybe he’s even unsure at this point. It wasn’t a picture of an elephant or camel and it wasn’t man, woman, person, camera, TV so it doesn’t count as evidence of his cognitive decline.

Now that the threat to Greenland and NATO has receded somewhat, at least until Trump needs to distract from the release of the Epstein files again, let’s tally up the idiocy of the Dumbroe Doctrine as he’s enacted it.

America Exit World Stage Left

Since World War II, the United States has been a super power. Since the fall of the USSR, the US has been the world’s lone super power. We’ve been able to project our military might, our economic supremacy, and our values all over the world. Frequently, in several places at once. No other country in the history of the world has been able to do so.

By agreeing to resurrect the nineteenth century Monroe Doctrine as the Dumbroe Doctrine, Trump has swapped our role as world super power for a role as regional power, effectively withdrawing the US from engagement in Asia, Europe, and Africa, and maybe Antarctica, space, and the Moon.

In effect, El Gran Narcisista has diminished us on the world stage equating us with Russia, China, and Europe. That’s some power move there, Don Donaldo takes us down a notch in order to shake down Venezuela for $500 million in the equivalent of a Swiss bank account in Qatar and whatever he could get for Greenland. It’s not like He’s sold us dirt cheap or anything.

Venezuelan Oil Money Keeps America Free of Drugs

The Caribbean Sea is a Ghost Town

The Wrecking Ball announced that his Caribbean Venezuelan boat interdiction practice had reduced the influx of drugs by boat by a hyperbolic 96%, telling a clearly dubious Mark Carnay that he’d saved 100,000 American and Canadian lives. He went on to add that “there are no boats anymore, frankly there are no fishing boats, there’s no boats out there period.” So, the world’s super power has bullied the fishing fleet of an impoverished nation out of the sea! Totally worth the crimes against humanity to do it. Totally, right?

Drowning in Petrodollars

In a jactation made earlier this month, he said that he had stashed $500 million US dollars in a Qatari bank account from the sale of Venezuelan oil! Clearly thinking that we’d all be going to bed wet-dreaming of being awash in pétrodollars like some common Saudi prince able to buy as many bone saws as our little hearts desired. Of course, these accounts are accountable to no one and are far from any claims that any of the oil companies jilted by the nationalization of the Venezuelan oil industry in the 70’s, which according to Trump, were the fault of the oil companies and, therefore, not deserving of reimbursement despite the legality of the claims. Always be closing, right Donnerino? Winning friends and influencing enemies the way that Papa Cohen

The Economic Madness of Venezuelan Oil

Standing in the way of Trump’s dream of choking the world with Venezuelan oil some sad economic news. First, oil isn’t selling at a high enough price to make it profitable. It sells for $60.00 – $65.00 (US) per barrel. As I understand it, it will cost more than that to return Venezuela to oil production despite Chevron — the only US oil company still operating in Venezuela — claiming that it could expand its operation by 50% in two years. There’s lots of infrastructure that needs rebuilding and replacing and tons of safety concerns for any of the personnel who would be involved. In fact, Chevron says that it is primarily concerned with keeping its 3,000 employees in Venezuela safe at the moment.

And second is supply and demand, an economic law that cannot be gaslight or intimidated. The more oil that is put on the market, the cheaper it becomes. So, right after the maximum investment in Venezuelan oil comes plunging revenues. It’s the same math that resulted in drug prices falling by 500%, amirite? Our very model of a modern major jenius!

Nationalization of Venezuelan Oil and Gas

What’s the old saying? Fool me once, shame on you! Fool me twice, shame on me! Fool Trump a third, fourth, and fifth time, the resulting disaster is blamed on some useful idiot! Isn’t that the way the saying goes? That’s pretty much what ExxonMobile said after their great illustrious White House meeting with the Stable Jenius. “We’ve lost gobs of cash in Venezuela in 1976 when they naturalized their oil and gas industry and then again in the early 2000’s when Hugo Chavez took over the country., so nah!

How Much You Wanna Bet?

The Feculent Touch: Take over a country’s useless-no-longer-needed natural resources that cannot be produced at a profit. How much you wanna bet that that we’re never going to hear about Venezuelan oil and that the money in those accounts ever heard again?

Trumpland, Expanding for Expansion Sake!

How can we have successfully implemented the Monroe Doctrine if Denmark still maintains a colony in our hemisphere?!? Hunh? Riddle me that libtards! Of course we have to drive the Danes out! Sssh! Don’t no one tell them about St. Pierre and Miquelon, the French held archipelago off of Newfoundland or he’ll be after that next.

We’ve already covered what makes this dumbass move so central to the Dumbroe Doctrine. Not only does the US not gain any tangible benefit from taking possession of Greenland, we lose lots of benefits, like the NATO alliance.

Once Europe stood up to the bully by threatening us with a trade bazooka — What? Not fair! Who brings a bazooka to a tariff fight?. And, who knew that they learned anything from Chamberlain? — The Living Grievance walked away with a “framework” for resolving the conflict negotiated with someone who doesn’t have the ability to negotiate it. Are you tired of winning yet?

Cosplaying as Teddy Roosevelt, Trump sure did drive the European colonizers and influencers out of our Western Hemisphere. Stephen Miller must be taking victory laps around the White House.

Doing Better Without US

Just like when you bump into your ex, you try to pretend that you are doing great without them, the rest of the world is looking around for other trade and political partners to do things with, to fill the void that Trump is carving out of the heart of the world order.

Canadian Prime Minister, Mark Carney, gave a blistering speech at Davos basically saying that the rules-based international order is over — he also said that it never really existed, but, like the love of a cat, it was close enough that we could pretend — and that we all had to fend for ourselves. The countries of the world had to make alliances based on shared interests on issue-by-issue basis depending on whose interests matched up best. So, he marched over to China and swapped Chinese EVs for Canadian canola oil. Unlike our Be-Best Negotiator who gave up our Chinese soybean market with nothing to replace them with, we haven’t sold them a single soybean for five straight months. We’re waiting by the phone for a call that ain’t ever coming. China has moved on to other soybean suppliers, dude. In fact, everyone has, so suck it, soybean farmers! America is GREAT again!

Like Carney said, the damage is done, it’s time to begin building something new. Unfortunately for the US we’re stuck avennging El Gran Narcisista’s greatest hits of grievances delusional and real. while the rest of the world is moving on.

The Dumbroe Doctrine everybody. The Dumbroe Doctrine.

Image Attribution

This image is from Nara & David’s Public Domain Archive found using a Creative Commons search and modified by me.