Update: This just in, a very thorough report from Vox detailing the process that Le Jejune followed to be admitted to Harvard. It involved a hefty $2.5 million gift from the old man and the involvement of two late senators, Lautenberg of New Jersey and Kennedy of Massachusetts. Apparently, at the time Le Jejune was applying, the elder Jejune suddenly and out of the blue gifted Harvard with a big ol’ sum of money out of the goodness of his heart — we all know how Harvard struggles financially — since he is not an alum. Then, sensing that his boy would need that extra little boost that rich white guys need from time to time — not like it is rich white guy privilege or anything — he called his state senator, Frank Lautenberg, to see what his $100,000 donation had bought him. It bought him a call from Lautenberg to Kennedy, who called the dean of admissions at Harvard who called the elder to arrange for the admission. Le Jejune’s high school college prep folks were surprised when he applied to Harvard and astonished when he was admitted since his grades were average at best.
Apparently, fuck favors the rich white guys.
With yet another terror attack in England taking most of the oxygen in the newsroom — the people of London, Manchester, Syria, Baghdad, and Alexandria are on the minds and in the hearts of the Psy. The Psy understands better than you might think given that he was in Nairobi during the Westgate attack, in fact, within a kilometer. He used to shop there so often that he knew many people who worked there. One of his ninth grade students and her mother lost their lives in the attack. We here at the Psy know what it’s like to live through such emotional trying times.
The emotions during these times are difficult and conflicting — I thought it best to carry on with my publishing schedule as usual. Of course, by schedule I mean the irregular, although, frequent publishing of articles and memes.
Just one more thing, though. To all those saying Muslims don’t speak out against terrorism done in their name or should oppose the terrorist or what ever other invective gets slung at Muslims, FUCK OFF! Over 130 British imams are refusing to hold funeral services for these punks. Remember that next time someone tells you that Muslim ain’t doing enough.
The Ol’ Pussy Grabber’s Family Dynamics
Of late, I have been concerned with the family dynamics of the Ol’ Pussy Grabber given that (a) he is a narcissist, (c) Jared has bubbled up to the top of the Trump-Russia cesspool, and (c) Ivanka, the Ol’ Pussy Grabber licker, lost the Paris Accord “fight” with a small sigh, barely noticeable shoulder shrug, and a mumbled “Something something long game.”
There are a couple of assumptions at work here: (1) a narcissist as severe as the Ol’ Pussy Grabber engaged in narcissistic personality abuse and gaslighting of his family and (2) people live their lives in patterns and are attracted to the familiar, i.e. an abused person will often be attracted to an abuser and be inclined to engage in abusive behavior herself. So, we’ll examine the family dynamics of the Ol’ Pussy Grabber, Jared, and Ivanka.
This is a lot of bitter biley-flavored gum to bite off and chew, so we’re going to do this in installments! First we’ll take a deep dive into the son-in-law’s psyche followed quickly by a very hot shower, anti-bacterial soap, and a massive dose of anti-retrovirus just in case. I recommend it for you, too, you know, after you’ve read through the toxic reservoir that is Jared’s psyche — at least in my humble ill-informed opinion. You know, you can never tell what someone will say about a public figure based on publicly available information in a politically satirical way. And then, we’ll have a crack at the family dynamic as composed of the Ol’ Pussy Grabber, Ivanka, and Jared complete with cute insulting nicknames for all!
Le Jejune, Jared
Le Jejune, Jared Kushner, which must be said with a ridiculous French accent and a rising sneer of the lip. Try it again, Le Jejune, Jared Kushner. See? Something just feels right there, doesn’t it? Le Jejune, Jared Kushner.
For those too embarrassed to ask — you shouldn’t be, here at the Psy there are no embarrassing questions, just embarrassing answers — jejune means the same in both French and English: pure, immature, innocent, trusting, naive, childish. And, in researching this article, it seems very fitting. If we can conclude nothing else with confidence from our research, it is that Le Jejune is very jejune. And, a spoiled brat at that.
Le Jejune Looking for a Backdoor MAN!
Given Le Jejune’s prominence in last he week’s Trump-Russia scandal news — if you’ve just snapped out of a coma or escaped the coal mine disaster, apparently, there are some in the intelligence community (IC) who suspect that Le Jejune and the known foreign agent, Michael Flynn, got the Russian Ambassador and spy-master Kislyak to be a sexy backdoor man for them at Trump Tower in a super duper top secret meeting in December. In that meeting, these exact same IC leakers have leaked like Russian pee-hookers the news that Le Jejune wanted to use the Russian DC embassy’s super duper top secret unpenetrable secure communications facilities to open a super duper top secret backdoor link between at least Le Jejune if not the Ol’ Pussy Grabber himself and the Kremlin. Apparently, Le Jejune swore that he had never let anyone service his backdoor before, but Kislyak was so suave and charming what could a jejune do but swoon before him? Le Jejune swears it was to discuss Syria strategies and nothing more, wink, wink, nudge, nudge, whiz, whiz… just like a Russian pee-hooker or a gaping fellow after his firs time…
Le Jejune has been rumored to be the big brains behind the Ol’ Pussy Grabber’s social media campaign and the puppet master of the Ol’ Pussy Grabber in the White House unless, of course, he’s not! Who knows? The Ol’ Pussy Grabber is UNPREDICTABLE! Just like Vector! How cute! Maybe he’s ordering the production of a squid gun right now!
Le Jejune Sweet Politeness or Toxic Shiv?
But who is this Le Jejune man of sweet polite unassuming mystery? Man of Harvard and daddy’s 2.5 million dollar donation? Man of NYU joint law and business degree? Son-in-law to the Ol’ Pussy Grabber? Chief consigliere and other bullshit between himself and the Ol’ Pussy Grabber and the first daughter and the rest of the administration.
- People “have been alarmed by Kushner’s efforts to elbow aside anyone he perceives as a possible threat to his role as Trump’s chief consigliere. (Washington Post)
- “Kushner appears unable to control both his father-in-law and those around him.”
- Lil’ Mz Imposter (Ivanka, of course) and Le Jejune broke up for a year in 2008 before reuniting in 2009 and marrying. The problem was that Lil’ Miz Imposter was not Jewish. Since they broke up over the issue, I’m going to assume that it was because she didn’t want to become Jewish and felt strongly enough about it to walk away from the relationship. She eventually converted to Judaism and now they are boastfully shomrei Shabbos, meaning observing the Sabbath by disconnecting from the world — no internet, cell phones, walking instead of driving, no TV that kinda thing. Sounds like she caved to the cunning manipulativeness of Le Jejune.
Evidence of grandiosity & arrogance
- “He didn’t do it with a sense of humor,” according to a classmate about Le Jejune driving a Range Rover while at Harvard. “He did it, like, ‘I’m fucking rich.'” (the New Yorker)
- To defend the Ol’ Pussy Grabber from accusations of antisemitism, he told the story of his grandparents who survived the Holocaust. Estranged cousin, Jacob Schulder, declared it a shame to have their “sacred and special” story used to “validate the sloppy manner in which you’ve (Le Jejune) handled this campaign.” (Politico)
- You know until he went into the White House, he owned The Observer, right? This is how one of their reporters described him: “I don’t think he’s a diabolical mastermind. He’s an intellectual lightweight. He ate it on his first real-estate deal and with the paper. He thought it would work out because he thought he had the golden touch.” Ouch! And, he’s going to make Middle East peace, remake government in his own image, manage the Ol’ Pussy Grabber, and rescue his dying building on 666 Fifth St. Now, I ask you, who in their right mind buys anything numbered, 666? (Vanity Fair)
- A real estate acquaintance had this to say about Le Jejune, “My impression wasn’t that he was a moron, but he thought he was so much smarter than he was. That makes for really dangerous and decisive decisions. He is really confident that he’s doing the right thing, but he has no idea what he’s doing.” No wonder the Yemen raid was so fucked up. He thinks he’s smarter than ever’body jus’ like the Ol’ Pussy Grabber does! Hey, maybe they have some personality disorders in common in addition to abusing the Lil’ Mz Imposter. (Vanity Fair)
Evidence of impulsivity
- “He’s impulsive. He was constantly trying new things and new approaches,” a description by a reporter at The Observer. “Every two months there was a new edict—quotas on the number of blog posts we had to write; launching a new vertical on tech; hiring different Web editors. It was like being in a boat that is constantly shifting directions and it’s never really clear where it’s pointing.” (Vanity Fair)
Evidence of a genetic link to a personality disorder
- It seems that Le Jejune’s old man, Charles, had a brother, Murray, who objected to his political contributions and brought a lawsuit, which attracted the attention of one Attorney General Christ Christie. Charles’ idea of getting out of it was to blackmail his younger sister, Ester Schulder (remember the estranged cousin?), whom he believed was working with the authorities against him. He arranged for a prostitute to seduce her husband for the photographs! It didn’t work. Charles went to happy ending prison for the rich whitey white meats who don’t need to be mixing with the common criminal elements. That’s some sick shit right there. Almost as sick as the Ol’ Pussy Grabber cutting his young nephew off from insurance because his older brother defied their old man. (Cosmopolitan)
- Of course, twelve fucking years later, Le Jejune takes out Christie. That’s a grudge. (Common fucking knowledge)
Evidence of narcissism
- Lil’ Mz Imposter relates a cute lil’ ol’ datin’ story ’bout she and her man. She say, “So, my husband’s idea of a date night somehow always involves me looking at one of his development sites.” And, she don’t mean that in some coy double entendre kinda way like she’s some common Vogue reader; she means it like literally. That’s narcissism. He can’t imagine that she don’t think it is interesting or something. (Vogue)
- He has forgotten more about his meetings with various and sundry Russians than most of the various and sundry Russians even knew about the meetings! Luckily, the US intelligence services are there to remind him of those meetings. So, he’s willing to lie on his security clearance forms. He’s willing to lie, cheat, and steal. That there is some real criminality.
Le Jejune and the Ol’ Pussy Grabber have a lot in common: arrogance, grandiosity, manipulativeness, immorality, criminality. They both probably have narcissistic personality abused and gaslighted Lil’ Mz Imposter (Ivanka). I think they are both cut from the same gottam rotten-ass soiled diaper cloth. I think they are both trying to get out from under their bloated irresponsible ill-advised debt by laundering Russian money. I bet both are real gottam sorry to have won the fucking election right about now. And, the rest of us are real fucked because of all this chaotic incompetent
So, this is the first consigliere, certainly it is not Melania who obviously doesn’t want to come anywhere near the Ol’ Pussy Grabber if she can help it. She’s played her role multiple times over. He can get fucked, amirite? And, Ivanka (Lil’ Mz Imposter) is now trying to yank the chains and strings of the Ol’ Pussy Grabber, amirite? But Le Jejune — the BEST nickname for him, nailed it, amirite? — is still trying to yank her chain and the Ol’ Pussy Grabber’s too. In the maelstrom that is the White House of chaos and opposing forces and rivalries, Le Jejune is battling for his job, freedom from incarceration, his family business, and his life. If he loses, do you think Lil’ Mz Imposter will be making conjugal visits to Le Jejune or the Ol’ Pussy Grabber — come on, you know in your heart of hearts…