This Week in Sexual Assault

This week saw some heady news in a topic near and dear to Ye Olde Blogge’s raison d’etre: why do people do things that I can’t really understand? One of the most confusing behaviors was the stubborn conservative resistance to regulating guns when the overwhelming evidence strongly indicates that it would save lives and make everything better. Another was sexual assault as in why do men commit sexual assault?

Long-time readers may recall the controversial series on sexual assault developing the idea that all men are capable of sexual assault — nothing remarkable there, really, although some people have been mortally offended by the notion; it’s a lot like the idea that we’re all capable of murder and willing to shove six million Jews into a gas oven and apply a deadly level of electricshock on the orders of a tall white man in a lab coat — if in the right circumstances — see the above list for circumstances that have led, literally millions of us who would never do anything to hurt someone, to do the unspeakable and unimaginable.

It turns out that the key feature needed is reduced empathy for the victim. Empathy, as it turns out, works like any other emotion, meaning, it ebbs and flows. Sometimes you’re more empathetic and sometimes you’re not. The situation you find yourself in has a big effect on the amount of empathy you’re experiencing for another real live human being or real live AI bot.

Another piece of the puzzle is ambiguity. Men, weirdly enough, think women are way more into them than they actually are. Freud once said, a stogie is just a stogie. The corollary here is that sometimes a smile is just gas. She may be smiling in your general direction Casanova, but it doesn’t mean she wants you to hold her down behind a dumpster and finger fucker when she’s in an unconscious alcoholic stupor, even if you do have a promising white rich-boy future before you.

Harvey Weinstein will DIE in Prison

In a move that challenges every conspiracy theory in the history of the world, Harvey Weinstein was convicted AGAIN of the rape of ANOTHER woman, bringing him to a hat-trick of rape convictions. He’ll be, approximately, 103 when his sentences for his crimes ends.

Of course, he proclaims his innocence. It was all consensual. Who wouldn’t want to bang a movie titan in spite of grotesque obesity that prevents him from seeing his own pecker, but not grabbing it and sticking it where it don’t belong.

So, fuck Harvey Weinstein, and here’s hoping that Jane Does 2 and 3 can wangle themselves a new trial and add to the years his corpse will be imprisoned and we can all dance upon his grave saying, Who the fuck was Harvey Weinstein, again?

10% of Teenaged Girls have been RAPED

In an incredible finding, more than one in ten high school girls reported having been raped in 2021. Well, that’s not so bad, right? One in six women have reported attempted or completed rape in their lifetime, so if it’s only one in ten teens, that’s better, right? **SARCASM ALERT! SARCASM ALERT! SARCASM ALERT! DON’T AT ME, MAN!**

For just a bit of context, the number of girls — as in children, remember? — reporting being raped grew by 200,000 from the last time the survey was done. The survey is the biennial CDC’s Youth Risk Behavior Survey. It is administered to 17,000 high school students and asks about health-related topics. But, because it is administered by the CDC, I’m sure it is all LIES! LIES! LIES! because they hate our freedoms. No one would want to have sex with a teenage girl, right Matt Gaetz?

Extrapolating from the data, the CDC estimated that 850,000 girls had been raped in 2019 increasing to over a million in 2021! Hmmm… what could’ve been different?

Due to the #COVID19 pandemic, which conservatives actively promoted for some obscure reason… oh, yeah, freedom…. Well, while De Santis, Abbott, and the other Keystone Kops Clown Show that is the Republican Party were screaming at school children not to wear masks so that enough #COVID19 cases would occur in schools to force them back into distant learning so they could scream their outrage at how damaging the policy of closing schools over #COVID19 infections was to the abyss, real live human beings were being hurt in a multitude of ways. One of which was leaving children at home with one of the following off of the menu of toxicity: (a) unsupervised because mom had to work because no sick or family leave; (b) supervised by an abusive raging family member; (c) stuck at home with the pu pu platter of potential abusers, neighbors, aunts, uncles, brothers, sisters, cousins, delivery people, babysitters, and the odd stranger.

Apparently, not everyone was able to maintain their cool when they realized that there were real live vulnerable children nearby. Some of us weren’t acting ourselves because of all the real live #COVID19 pandemic lockdown stress and strain happening due to social and economic disruptions. Drinking was way up. Remember all of those hilarious social media memes and haha joking, not really, just joking, or am I? posts about day drinking and being day drunk? Turns out they weren’t joking.

Here’s a riddle for you: What do we get when we mix bored men, getting drunk at home with some hapless helpless and hopeless fourteen year old? One of the five types of rapist. Not funny. No not funny at all, but that’s what it is. From the world of evolutionary psychology, the collective minds of William McKibbin et al. and the post, Rape Culture: Yes, It is ALL Men, the Evolution Argument:

  • DISADVANTAGED MEN: This is the guy who is off somehow. He’s got low self-esteem, lacks confidence, high anxiety, asymmetrical features (symmetry reflects good genetic stock, asymmetry, doesn’t, so it is off-putting), or imagines himself to be an incel, but whatever it is, there is an impediment to him being able to… to what? Have a sex life? Seduce women? Get married? Who the fuck knows any more.
  • THE SPECIALIZED RAPIST: These are the guys who are into the violence of the rape. They are sadistic bastards who enjoy hurting women physically and mentally. When you show these guys your standard PornHub porno, they’re like, meh, but when you show them someone being raped, they’re like, way into it.
  • THE OPPORTUNISTIC RAPIST: This guy zeros in on the vulnerability of the victim. It could be her physical vulnerability, let’s say a fourteen year old at home alone. It could be her mental vulnerability, let’s say a fourteen year old home alone and depressed. You get the picture. The #COVID19 pandemic lockdown was made for this guy.
  • THE DOMINANT PSYCHOPATHIC-TYPE RAPIST: This guy is confident, has high self-esteem, handsome, charismatic, even, but are interested in low emotional commitment and are not above using a bit of force when nothing else works. These are the assholes who don’t take no for an answer.
  • THE PARTNER RAPISTS: These are the assholes who rape their wives. Maybe the #COVID19 pandemic lockdown didn’t provide this guy with many victims because not many people in the States are married to high school girls.

Yeah, with these types of men running around, you can see how girls left home alone would be vulnerable to sexual assault. With 55% of rapes occurring at or near home and 93% of juvenile victims being raped by someone they know, you kinda gotta think the poor handling of the pandemic — promoted almost exclusively by those loudly proclaiming themselves to be god fearing conservatives — played right into the hands of anyone who was prone to committing sexual assault.

Teen Girls and Sadness and Depression

Is it any wonder that teenage girls reported to the CDC that they are having feelings of hopelessness, sadness, depression, and suicide? Violence in general is up; violence among adolescents is up; and sexual assault and sexual violence among girls is up. Put it all together and what do you got? Fifty-seven percent of girls saying they felt “persistently hopeless” and 25% having made a suicide plan! Bibbidy-bobbidy-boo, indeed.

It doesn’t have to be good old fashioned grab by the pussy and penetrate ’em sexual assault, it can be as little as holding girls to a different standard of dress and responsibility for the reactions of boys who are “distracted.” Girls have to think about how they are dressed and how people will react to it. It is a vulnerability that adults and kids use against them all the time.

By putting all of the responsibility for the sexualizing of girls and women on them, they realize that they are not in control of their lives. They are in a no-win situation and will catch criticism no matter what they decide to wear or do. That is a tremendous amount of stress to be under.

Given the rising demand for gender and sexual conformity from the conservative sphere, and we have increasing problems with all of our marginalized groups. The pressure to do the impossible will make life impossible. And, marginalizing groups just gives people permission to bully and oppress them more.

An interesting explanation for the increase in mental health issues, though, is that we’ve encouraged kids to speak up about their mental health, and silly them, they believed us.

“Some adults are really open to those kinds of conversations, but most adults sort of make you feel like you’re just another teenager complaining about insignificant issues when ‘there are more important things to worry about,’” Marwa Sahak, a 16-year-old living near California’s central coast, said by text message. “It’s just frustrating how we are rarely ever taken seriously when it comes to issues that we care about.”

As a teacher, I know that the world of children, even burly “grown up” buxom teenagers who know it all and will never die are much smaller than the world of adults, so that things that seem unimportant, insignificant, and trivial to adults have greater weight in the world of children and adolescents.

That’s the problem with encouraging people to talk about their mental health issues, when they do, you need to know how to respond. Most of us don’t. Luckily, many of these kids talk to each other and they try to be supportive.

Let’s end with some universal safety planning:

  • Normalize conversations about mental health. Be prepared to listen once you start encouraging kids to open up.
  • Make a contingency plan for who would be called if in crisis.
  • Write down the names and numbers of trusted adults.
  • Make a list of effective distracting activities that will help get through a tough time.

And as always,

  • The Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: 988
  • The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-8255 ortext HOME to 741741
  • Visit SpeakingOfSuicide.com/resources for additional resources

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Image Attribution

Rape” by Valeri Pizhanski is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0.

9 replies »

  1. Threw you a little love, bucko, and maybe a little traffic.

    I actually think it can be narrowed down tighter than “personality characteristics,” it’s their damned religion. Say’s it’s okay right there in their book: it’s okay to get drunk and fuck your daughters, if of course you’re not actively pimping them out Saturday night and standing up to sing praises about it Sunday morning.

    We’re not gonna’ eliminate the problem until we eliminate their religion …

    Liked by 2 people

    • Howdy Ten Bears!

      Thanks for the love. It is appreciated. The struggle is real.

      You gotta admit, that sexual assault existed long before the Old Testament came into existence and will continue to exist long after it passes out of memory. It’s personality plus empathy or a lack of empathy. It’s opportunity in the moment. It’s like suicide and many other crimes. The impulse occurs and the usual brakes are absent.

      However, you won’t get an argument from me that religion has to go.



      • Dayam Jack, that sounds suspiciously like an admonishment I was once subjected to: don’t hold it against your father for abandoning you, fathers have been abandoning children for as long as there’s been fathers to abandon children …

        Liked by 1 person

        • It is similar but it diverges pretty quickly. To cure the problem, you have to correctly diagnose it. The problem isn’t so much Christianity — Christianity is just a rationalization for behavior. Trying to resolve the problem of sexual assault by eliminating Christianity just won’t be effective. That’s all I’m saying.



  2. And, we need to remember that the kids are also dealing with the prospect that the grownups are going to let the planet fry and leave them with a dystopian hellscape. Why would they get feeling depressed?

    In addition to Harvey W., there’s that other creep, the rapper or whatever whose name escapes me at the moment, getting convicted of rape and trafficking.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Howdy Bob!

      It’s depressing to me to think of the mess we are leaving behind… and for some of us, deliberately producing.

      That’s right, R. Kelly’s case had been in the news recently. I think he had another year added to his sentence or something. Sometimes I just read the headlines and elect not to go further just to protect myself from the psychic damage of knowing such things happen.


      Liked by 1 person

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