This past weekend, the Ol’ Pussy Grabber grabbed him a handful of headlines by tweeting the following tweets in the twee hours — not the wee wee hours, those fun times are reserved for visits to Russia, amirite @readDonaldTrump?

Terrible! Just found out that Obama had my “wires tapped” in Trump Tower just before the victory. Nothing found. This is McCarthyism!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) March 4, 2017

Is it legal for a sitting President to be “wire tapping” a race for president prior to an election? Turned down by court earlier. A NEW LOW!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) March 4, 2017

I’d bet a good lawyer could make a great case out of the fact that President Obama was tapping my phones in October, just prior to Election!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) March 4, 2017

How low has President Obama gone to tapp my phones during the very sacred election process. This is Nixon/Watergate. Bad (or sick) guy!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) March 4, 2017

How low has President Obama gone to tapp my phones during the very sacred election process. This is Nixon/Watergate. Bad (or sick) guy!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) March 4, 2017

Diagnosing the Ol’ Pussy Grabber

Now that is a whole lotta cray-cray, but does that mean that the Ol’ Pussy Grabber is nutz? Is it okay to declare him nutz just based on his public persona? I don’t know about the ethics of it, but (a) he is a public figure, (b) I ain’t governed by no licensing board no more, and (c) he has his motherfucking finger on the motherfucking nuclear button, so we bes’ be sure the motherfucker is sane enough not to blow us to kingdom cum for no good reason than he has flown into a rage.

Categorizing Behavior as Abnromal

And, because he has insisted on living his life as publicly as possible, there is lots of material out there on him. But, if we just look at these five tweets, we can make some judgements?

Psychologists, psychiatrists, and others who are concerned with mental health have struggled with the question of distinguishing normal behavior from abnormal behavior, and what constitutes stepping over the line for a long time. And, you know through most of the short history of mental health, we’ve gotten it wrong… until recently. So, maybe if we consider these tweets through those filters? Who knows, amiright? This is the fucking Pussy Grabber, so all bets are off.

Let’s kick this science-style! And, hold on to your asses, we is in for a wild wild ride.

Psychologists define abnormal as behavior that is atypical. But, what is atypical? Is my atypical the same as your atypical? It’s all so confusing? Is it like art: I don’t know much about atypical behavior, but I know what is atypical? Who uses words like atypical anyway?

Statistical Infrequency

A tad obvious. You know how science is – no clever names here. But, as you might expect, this method looks at the frequency of behavior in a society or culture. If the behavior is rare, then it is abnormal. That makes sense right? Normal means normal. What normal people do, right? Normal is what most people are doing?

But, dig it: just because a behavior is statistically infrequent, it isn’t necessarily bad. Einstein was abnormal — how many geniuses of that caliber are there? But, we wouldn’t want him to be under treatment to cure his genius, right? How many Americans are obese? According to the CDC, 35.6% are obese. That’s not rare, right? But, we sure would prefer the number of obese and overweight people to falling and not growing, right?

So, let’s think about the Ol’ Pussy Grabber and his tweeting habit. Lot’s of people tweet shit on Twitter, so that makes it at the very least not statistically infrequent, right? But, what about presidents of the US? What about national leaders? What about international leaders? How many heads of state and other people high up in government are tweeting the kind of baseless cray-cray shyte, the Ol’ Pussy Grabber tweets on a regular basis?

Well, there is Ecuador’s President Correa, but I’m not sure that this is the right company to keep:

Back in 2007, Gambian President Yahya Jammeh “discovered” a cure for AIDS, which consisted of seven herbs and spices and is served out of old syrup bottles. Again, not the company you want to be mentioned in, right?

Of course, if Ronald Reagan had had twitter, he would’ve been tweeting that ketchup is a vegetable or at least his USDA would’ve, and that trees create more pollution than cars. And, if W had, we would’ve been treated to his unique expressions, too, “You know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror.” But, does any of what any past president of the United Fucking States of Fucking Stupid rise to level of the Ol’ Pussy Grabber’s deluded accusations of Obama wire tapping him?

Let’s face it, the Ol’ Pussy Grabber’s tweeting is statistically infrequent, and his peers who engage in these kinds of claims ain’t exactly a ringing endorsement.

Violation of Social Norms

Social norms are the behaviors that are expected in a culture in a given situation or interaction. They are the things that we expect each other to do. They are the things that seem normal. Now, what’s normal for the president of these here United States ain’t normal for you and me. The president gets to travel with motorcades, secret service, and Air Force One and the nuclear football. So, the president, let’s just say, is held to a different norm that the rest of us.

Now we all remember the time when Poppy Bush was amazed at the scanner at the grocery store contributing to the perception of the president being out of touch with the average person and helping keep him a merciful one-termer. And, I will maintain that the reason the irascible Bill Clinton survived the lie about having sexual relations with Monica Lewinsky was because everyone thought, Hell, I’da lied, too, iffn it were me. In other words, it is normal to lie to cover up your infidelities.

There is one caveat with this definition: how badly has the norm been violated — the Ol’ Pussy Grabber blew this one out of the water. And, would the action be classified as rude, eccentric, abnormal, criminal, or some other behavior that frequently relegates the perpetrator to the margins? In their heart of hearts, who would hesitate to say, yes this type of behavior has no place in civil discourse or in the White House?

Again, very few average citizens, celebrities, or government officials at any level hurl baseless and blatantly false accusations at the president. And, the ones that do have regularly been regulated to the fringes of the internet and society… well, at least until now. FFS, this ain’t normal; we all know that.

Failure to Function Adequately

One way that mental health professionals think about behavior is by how functional it is. In other words, is it preventing the person from maintaining a minimum level of success in their life? I mean, I can secretly be worried about the cockroaches that are running around my innards, but as long as I can go to work and earn enough to pay my bills frequently enough to keep the utilities on, food in my belly, and a roof over my head, who cares, right? But, when your behavior or thoughts are painful enough to keep you from succeeding or leaving you in enough pain to mean that you are suffering, then something ought to be done.

People with OCD may vacuum their rugs sixty times a day, and it ain’t hurting anyone, but that kind of waste of time and energy is a remarkable for its dysfunction. That time and energy could be better placed somewhere else, right? Same same here. The time and energy that the Ol’ Pussy Grabber is putting into following the obscure alt-right news outlets could and should be put to better use running the country. After all, he still has over 500 appointments to make. His Secretary of State is traveling to the Far East to try to piss on the brush fire that is North Korea, but he don’t have the staffing to be able to piss enough to put the fire out. Thanks, Pussy Grabber, that’s presidenting successfully.

Does the Ol’ Pussy Grabber’s dysfunction as evidenced by his tweets rise to the level of a abnormality or atypical behavior. Well, David Rosenhan and MEP Seligman developed the criteria known as Failure to Adequately Function:

The Narcissism of Donald J. Trump

o Suffering: Mental health issues are painful. People suffer when they are depressed, anxious, delusional. It hurts. You are filled with doubt and uncertainty and anxiety. If the Ol’ Pussy Grabber is a narcissistic personality disorder, then he vacillates between being ecstatic as he was after his speech to Congress the other night and raging as he was on Friday before jetting off to Mar-a-Lago to tweet about Obama. If you had tweeted something so delusional and baseless, how humiliated would you be when you were called on it? The Ol’ Pussy Grabber is suffering by being president. Mark my word.
o Maladaptiveness: People with mental health issues have difficulty coping with everyday events and challenges. Sometimes even getting up off the couch to go to the refrigerator to get something to eat seems like too much trouble. The reporting is contradictory on whether the Ol’ Pussy Grabber could’ve found out if the FBI was bugging his tower. Some say yes, some say no, but what is clear is that the Ol’ Pussy Grabber’s knowledge of police work, espionage, and general spy-work comes from popular media. That he could’ve easily accessed, though, but, clearly, he didn’t bother.
o Vividness & unconventionality: ‘Nuff said. Can he be more unconventional? Have you read his tweets about Obama?
o Unpredictably & loss of control: Again, ’nuff said. He’s driving his staff nuts with his out of control unpredictable contradictory behavior.
o Irrationality/incomprehensibility: Whoa, ’nuff said. Can any honest person figure out what the hell he’s up to? Was there any rational thought behind what’s he doing with those tweets or anything else to govern?
o Causes observer discomfort: The Ol’ Pussy Grabber is batting a thousand! Who is comfortable? Come on! Be honest! We’re all just waiting for a real crisis.
o Violates moral/social standards: We don’t make unsubstantiated allegations like those tweets. It is considered to be bad form at best and slanderous at worst.

Well, let’s see, by the Failure to Function Adequately method of categorizing behavior as abnormal, the Ol’ Pussy Grabber is pretty atypical and definitely not firing on all cylinders.

Deviation from Ideal Mental Health

This is the last one. Thanks for sticking with it. It’s interesting, no?

Deviation from Ideal Mental Health examines behavior  through the lens of good health. It is the beginning of Positive Psychology and the work on happiness. So, Marie Jahoda developed this criteria in 1958!

o Positive view of the self: When the Ol’ Pussy Grabber is riding high, he has not only a positive view of himself, but an inflated positive view. It is grandiose. And, it is easily punctured. It is a fragile grandiosity. Witness his soaring heights of pleasure from his speech before Congress, and the crash into the trash heap of disappointment when AG Sessions recused himself and stole his thunder. No real positive view of himself.
o Capability for growth and development: Okay, stop laughing! We’re done.
o Autonomy and independence: Completely dependent on approval and praise of others. Incapable of making it on his own. His businesses didn’t even come close to being marginally successful until his children matured enough to actually start making decisions. He can’t even distinguish BS trashy news from an alt-right site from legitimate news and doesn’t hesitate to base reckless decisions and actions on this faulty information… as president of the US!
o Accurate perception of reality: Believes his own BS.

Is Trump Gaslighting America?

o Positive friendships and relationships: He has a co-dependent relationship with Ivanka, gaslights everyone around him, has Steve Bannon as a close advisor. No. No friendships, positive or otherwise. No positive relationships with another human being.
o Environmental mastery: He is not the master of his situation when he believes the last thing he heard without using any critical thinking or analysis… and is president of the US!

The Black Swan

Okay, now I’m depressed. If there were any doubt that the Ol’ Pussy Grabber was not mentally ill, it is now officially dispelled. Now, here’s the really depressing scary part: the government is barely functioning and there is a foreign crisis just waiting to happen. He’s appointed four ambassadors. He’s let many of the senior WH staff go in various departments, especially State, he still to make over 500 top level appointments, has yet to present a cabinet nominee to Congress that has been properly vetted and with completed paperwork. When the black swan comes home to roost, this house of cards comes tumbling down. Unfortunately, it means people die and suffer needlessly.