Trump had a Plan for Winning in Iran

The Pundits’ Hot Takes on Trump in Iran

The Orange Caricature has got the pundits all wringing their pearls and clutching their hands on their fainting couches because he has called off his super big attack on Iran and spared them the new war crimes. He says they are giving him everything he wants and he’s got them right where every tough guy wants the every bratty smart-mouthed punk in the world. That’s right, right where he wants them!

Now the pundits are all smarmy as they rend their clothing and scrape their boils with broken pottery shards because they can all drop the same hot take: “Market manipulation! Just in time for the weekend!” “I said it first!” “No, I said it first!” “Well, now he’s crying wolf!” “That’s so last week.” Ladies, puhlease.

We are all convinced that Trump is up to his sticky ass in his quagmire and has no idea how to get out. We are all assured with absolute certainty that Trump went into his excursion into war crimes with no real plan.

Pshaw! He had a plan. He’s a narcissist. Of course, he had a plan.

Here was his plan. Are you ready because I’m going to tell you his plan, so make sure you’re ready.

Trump’s Iran Plan

Iran would surrender unconditionally, just ask Netanyahu.

What else would his plan be? He’s a narcissist! He’s the world’s stupidest jenius. He’s on par with Alexander the Great and Napoleon. He’s going to conquer Persian just like Napoleon did! He’s not going to get bogged like Alexander was in Russia! What do you take him for, some kind of ignoranimus?

He would bomb them. They would surrender. The world would worship at his feet. And, that, my friends, would be that.

Trump’s Iran Narcissistic Wound

That it isn’t that is one of the worst narcissistic wounds that he’s ever been dealt. As negotiations fell apart and the memorandum of understanding was twisted into misunderstanding, El Gran Jefe Estúpido burst into an explitive laden rant in the Oval Office. Later, in the week he called a Fox News show and threatened to “bomb the fucking shit out of them,” if I’ve filled in the blanks properly.

Apparently, cooler heads prevailed at the White House, meaning someone showed him oil future prices, and he decided to call it all off claiming that Iran was back in a talking mood. When asked about it, Trump said, “All they do is make me angry, you know, they just make me angry.”

Trump’s Projection onto Iran

And he projectile vomited his projections all over them saying: “[T]hey do lie and they do misrepresent.” “Sure, little bit. (Iran will) get weaker, they’ll get a little stronger maybe now, but they’ll get weaker and then they peter out. Yeah sure, I think so. I mean, it would be foolish to say no.” And clearing up any misunderstandings about his goals, “Well, I think we just want to win, you know, we just want to win.”

Trump’s Gaslighting about Iran

Trump is a one trick pony. All he’s got is bullying and bombast. He’s a narcissist, so all he can do is dish out narcissistic abuse, which is just controlling the narrative through fear, intimidation, and endless mind-numbing repetition. It works really well on individuals and small groups, like families and offices. Surprisingly, Trump has been able to gaslight the MSM. But, it doesn’t work on other countries with agendas and armed forces of their own. They don’t think they’ve just given away their nuclear program and reopened the Strait of Vermouth because Trump social mediaed about it.

MAGA, the stock market, and the legacy media may eat that shit up and report on it like its the best thing since ice cream, but Iran isn’t. A country that has been at war with Netanyahu for nearly fifty years just isn’t that easy to push around.

Trump’s Final Solution for his Iranian Narcissistic Wound

So, what’s a narcissist to do when a country inflicts a devastating narcissistic wound upon them? They must destroy them. Iran must be utterly destroyed. It’s why his stupid military jenius plan was to do a massive strike on them.

One big problem with that plan, my friend. We ain’t got the ordinance to do it with. We done used all the big guns up. I’m sure his best generals who he’s smarter than are all telling him that the magazine is empty. Nothing left but a few grains of gun powder and some iron filings.

You know what that leaves, right? Nukes.

He’s a narcissist. Of course, he thinks he should be able to nuke Iran. In our fist trip around this clownish carousel, didn’t he openly question why we didn’t use our nuclear weapons since we had them? You really think he hasn’t wanted to use them for the past three months? That he isn’t chomping at the bit to use them now?

He would nuke them tomorrow if the generals — It would be the generals, right? Not Pete Kegsbreath or Jamoke Dumbass or Marco Cubio, right? — would let him.

We all joke about HIM having he nuclear codes, but the longer his excursion in to war crimes goes on and the more frustrated he becomes over it, the more he’s going to see going nuclear as being absolutely necessary.

Still think we shouldn’t impeach and remove him from office?

Image Attribution

This image was found on Hiroshima Peace Memorial Park and Museum and has a Creative Commons license.