This article is one written for my own heart: it’s psychologiey, snarky, sarcasticky, and profaney. But wait, there’s more: it has dick jokes AND it reports the science as it actually is not how we want it to be as is so often the case in the reporting on science.

I saw a link post by a twit on Twitter that described it as science fact! OMG all of the Ol’ Pussy Grabber’s supporters have small dicks! As Doc Zoom makes clear in his reporting on the matter that there is a correlation between a proxy variable for penis-size concerns and voting for the Ol’ Pussy Grabber who doesn’t have any concern about the size of his member and his hands are normal-sized hands stop staring!

There may or may not be a strong connection between googling Viagra, penis pumps, and penis enlargement surgery and penis insecurity. However, these areas also have some of the highest porn searches conducted in the country, which means these guys are all looking at the horse cocks used in porn flicks and having their perspective bent out of shape. You ever realize that? Most straight men rarely see the dicks of other men and certainly rarely see another man’s erection except for in porn. Men’s perception of average penis size is so distorted that they don’t realize that flaccid size is not a good indicator of erection size. The truth is, science fact, the smaller the flaccid penis, the more likely it will grow six to ten times its size when erect. The larger the flaccid penis, the more likely it will not grow at all or only double in size. Rest assured fellows, the world-wide average erection is four to six inches regardless of race, creed, or country of origin.

So, relax, and go work on your technique which is were most of the action comes from anyway.

And, libs, it ain’t nice to make fun of people for attributes that they can’t change including the size of your dick. We’re better than that. That’s what the other side does. We’ve internalized our values and refrain from such cruel bullying tactics.

Real science, plus dick jokes.

In one of the more intriguing bits of science we’ve seen lately, a couple of New York University researchers have done a brief study exploring whether Donald Trump’s calculated expressions of machismo just might have attracted a lot of male voters who may actually be less than fully confident in their masculinity. Basically, the study looks at Google search trends for terms that might indicate worries about masculinity, and correlates that with areas of the country that went to Trump in 2016. Whatever larger studies may be generated from this seminal project, the researcher should prepare to get some very angry hate male mail from the Internet Flying Monkey Brigade, since Trump supporters are VERY MANLY, FUCK YOU, SHUT UP.

The researchers, NYU social psych prof Eric Knowles and psych PhD student Sarah DiMuccio, are happy to acknowledge their study is only “correlational” — they find a statistical correlation, but haven’t proven causality at all, and they say more work would need to be done to really prove any such link. Still, their “fragile masculinity hypothesis” isn’t completely made up out of nothing — they aren’t pretending this is a fully-realized Science Fact, but they have some intriguing data.

The piece starts off with a reasonable enough set of background information:

Research shows that many men feel pressure to look and behave in stereotypically masculine ways — or risk losing their status as “real men.” Masculine expectations are socialized from early childhood and can motivate men to embrace traditional male behaviors while avoiding even the hint of femininity. This unforgiving standard of maleness makes some men worry that they’re falling short. These men are said to experience “fragile masculinity.”

The political process provides a way that fragile men can reaffirm their masculinity. By supporting tough politicians and policies, men can reassure others (and themselves) of their own manliness. For example, sociologist Robb Willer has shown that men whose sense of masculinity was threatened increased their support for aggressive foreign policy.

Sounds good so far. And Trump sure has made aggression and toughness a key part of his persona, what with all the calls to send protesters away on a stretcher and the casual misogyny. So how on earth do you try to measure whether voters actually are actually worried about their masculinity? There’s the problem, and as Knowles and DiMuccio note, you can’t exactly expect guys who question their manhood to answer accurately if you ask “are you confident in your manliness, you big hunk?” And presumably a look at sales of huge 4X4 pickups would rely too much on stereotypes. (DO THAT ONE NEXT!)

Continue reading at Wonkette: Does Donald Trump Appeal To Men With Peener Insecurity? NYU Did Science To It! – Wonkette