As the 6 January Committee hearings have demonstrated, the GOP entered into a wide-ranging complicated plot to illegally install the Ol’ Pussy Grabber in office. It is important not to focus just on Trump and the 6 January Insurrection, but to do so, we need to soar to the 30,000 foot level and crane our heads around to peer out the window. Hopefully it’s not too cloudy and we don’t have a seat over the wing because we need a panoramic view to take it all in. Lucky for us we don’t have to piece every plot together and create a timeline and complete picture of the conspiracy because MSNBC’s Ari Melber host of The Beat beat us to it and already performed that community service.
Melber has produced a special report in which he outlines and details all of the coup plots. It includes a nifty timeline graphic showing the overlap and succession of each plot. It even graphically demonstrates when a plot shifts from legal to illegal. There are like seven of them and they vary in legality from the legal lawsuits to the blatantly illegal like the military seizing voting machines. But, by the end of it, other than the lawsuits, they all turned illegal, well except for the lawfully elected and appointed electors, which Trump LOST necessitating the coup. And, if you count the lawsuits as frivolus, then, even that would be, too.
The Special Report on All the Coups
Melber posted his special report to their YouTube page in two segments, so I’ve embedded them below for you not to watch because NO BODY, except for one alleged masochist, watches embedded video. There is a list of the plots after that and a brief discussion of their implications with an emphasis on the 2022 election.
The Coup Program
- Lawsuits — They lost all of them, Katie, except for one minor one. So, ha HA, as Bart Simpson would say.
- Electors — He coulda won here except that he didn’t.
- States overturning votes — Trump’s calls to state legislators and secretaries of state. You don’t think he only called Georgia’s Raffensperger, do you?
- DoJ Interference — Clark as AG vouches for voter fraud to the swing states to provide cover for decertification
- Military siezes voting machines — Trump knew it was illegal because his advisors told him so, so he made a half-assed appointment of Sidney Powell as special prosecutor and moved on.
- Congress overturns votes — The Green Bay sweep: MoC’s challenge slates of electors from swing states, Pence rejects slates of electors, Pence counts alternative slates, kicks it back to the states for investigation, or does does both.
- 6 January Insurrection — We all know what happened here.
On 5 November, only two days after the election, as votes were being counted and it was looking like the Ol’ Pussy Grabber had grabbed his last pussy, Don-Don texted WH Chief of Staff, Meadows, that they controlled multiple paths to victory and outlined the lawsuits, recounts in swing states, alternative slates of electors plans, and throwing it to Congress so we could have VP Harris waiting for Trump to die of a heart attack or something (What’s the over binder that Trump don’t make it to ’24?)
Don-Don’s lawyer is arguing that he is too stupid to understand what he had texted (paraphrasing with artistic license) and that he had merely forwarded a text he had received from someone — Who knows who? He got so many cuz he’s a very impo’tent man! He can’t be held responsible! Whatever, Don-Don. You know can’t make those claims? Mark Meadows. Mark, bus; bus, Mark! You know the drill. Seriously, Mark, I know you read Ye Olde Blogge, free advice: flip.
What the Condon to Meadows text suggests is that people on team crazy were looking for multiple ways to steal the elections, pretending to themselves that they all could work and hoping against hope that one would while team normal pretended that all this was normal and fine as long as it worked and no one would be held accountable, but as soon as the proverbial shit started hitting the ubiquitous fan, they voiced their outrage and some of them even published it all in books because grift!
As the Coup Turns
The coup started well before election day when Trump opined that the election would be fair only if he won because confidence, or, more likely, because Trump never won anything fair and square in his life, why would election 2020 be any different? Or 2016 for that matter? Or 2024?
Then, when the election was called for Biden, the lawsuits started dropping like sweat from Trump’s ass. Judges could hardly dismiss them with a straight face. With Safe Harbor Day, 8 December, rapidly approaching team crazy pounded the phones and flesh hard to create an insurmountable controversy in appointing electors from Michigan and Pennsylvania because, surprise surprise surprise, they added to 36 electors the exact number Trump was behind by. When the Electoral College met on 14 December and certified the election, desperation set in.
Without real evidence of fraud, state legislators, governors, and secretaries of state were reluctant to act. That’s when the fear and angst became palpable and the Hail Mary’s were uttered and Rudy Giuliani prayed that it was only the darkest before the dawn. Surely the dawn was coming.
The lame obtained scheme of appointing Sidney Powell special super-secret utterly ignored prosecutor and Pat Cipollone took out he’s cosplay hero’s cap and outer briefs and told everybody the military couldn’t grab no voting machines, no way, no how.
Now, it all turned on 6 January and Mother Pence reaching down his pants and grabbing his Trump boner, which made Mother kind of nervous because Mother probably wouldn’t approve of that any more than him having dinner alone with a woman… if she only knew. After consulting the be bestest expert on the vice presidency, Dan “Potatoe” Quayle, he found out grabbing his Trump boner was a no-no, god would find some other way for him to be president.
With Mother quaking in his boxers and sorely tempted to venture “south of the border” — no doubt that’s why Mother was there that day, intestinal fortitude. All joking aside, the proudest moment of Mother’s life was refusing to get into that limo.
By 6 January, they were left with Trump following the mob into the Capitol guns a blazing, including Maddog Greene, Loaded Bobert, Maddy Cawthorn, and declare himself winner in an exception that everyone would approve of because narcissist.
It seems that some of the militia lads thought Trump would invoke the Insurrection Act and let them cosplay Concord Minute Men, but, jokes on them, Trump NEVER does anything where he can be so clearly and singularly held to account.
Speaking of which, all those folks hoping for pardons for their role in the coup? Haha! You think Trump was going to pardon THEM and leave himself holding the bag? Gottamn, these people needed to read Ye Olde Blogge.
If accepting a pardon is the equivalent of a guilty verdict, then seeking a pardon is a confession, right? How many of the chief architects of Trump’s coup sought pardons? All of them, Katie! Not only did they commit criminal acts, they KNEW they were being criminals.
As you can see, there weren’t multiple plots, there was one. They just evolved, adjusted, and morphed as they rolled along, and they all ran through Trump and his screwball legal team of Giuliani, Powell, and Eastman. It is only when you take it all in that you see it clearly. And, of course, Garland knows all of this.
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