As much as I love being right — Hey, I’m as egotistical as the next person! — I hate being right this time. Yesterday, I predicted that where there was one accusation of groping, there’d be more because this type of behavior don’t happen in a vacuum. It builds over time. Today, there are more.
I also gave Al a bit of advice: get it all out before the others start telling their stories. It is the only way to make good on what you’ve done. To maybe retain your senate seat or some influence or some semblance of honor and dignity. You’ve been blessed with a halo by your admirers. It isn’t completely gone, but it will be soon. Once it’s gone, once you’ve wasted the benefits of the halo affect, then no body cares what you do.
Kevin Spacey wasted his. Don’t you waste yours. You’re far more important to the liberal-progressive cause that you have championed. You owe us that much. You owe us every effort to preserve your ability to hold a seat for the progressive side, to vote for the progressive causes.
Seriously, Al, you gotta just come clean. You gotta say that you made a habit of or regularly or often grabbed women’s asses when you posed for pictures with them. You’ve got to say whether you’ve grabbed women by any other body parts, too. You’ve got to say whether you’ve forced anyone to endure a kiss. You’ve got to make a complete accounting of every type of sexual transgression that you’ve committed.
You don’t hafta account for each one because you’ve groped your constituents so consistently and so often over the years that you can’t possibly remember them all. But, if that is true, you gotta say that, too. You’ve gotta say that you are an arrogant prick of a narcissist who thought the rules didn’t apply to him. You’ve got to say that you took advantage of these women with your stature and celebrity, that you took advantage of your wife’s good nature, that you fooled your staff and friends. You’ve got to say that you’re a serial groper… and you’ve got to say if you’ve done anything worse because you know, Al, if you’ve done worse, it’s coming out now, too. And, oh god, please don’t let there be worse.
You cannot make excuses. You cannot remember the rehearsal differently. You cannot say that anonymity makes addressing accusations more difficult. You cannot whine and complain and bitch about your accusers even a little bit. You cannot make excuses. You cannot sound like the goddamned Celebrity Perv Apology Generator, you disappointing son of a bitch.
It’s difficult to respond to anonymous accusers, and I don’t remember those campaign events.
— Al Franken, Two More Women Accuse…
So, the fuck what, Al. What are you trying to say? Are you saying that if you saw their ass again, you’d remember whether you groped it or not? Are you saying that you didn’t make it a habit of grabbing women’s butts when you posed for pictures with them? Because if you’re saying anything less than, yeah, I groped women when I had the chance, then fuck that you deserve the comeuppance that you’re about to get.
You’ve got to be honest and sincere and be especially hard on yourself. And you’ve got to stand in there and take it because you, sir, deserve it.
Then after you’ve convinced us you’re sincere in confessing your transgressions and that you’ve accounted for every possible accusation that may come out of the shadows, you’ve got to invite those women to come forward and tell their stories.You’ve got to provide a forum and a place for that to happen if they need it.
You’ve got to promise not to ever do it again, and invite any future victim to contact the media immediately should you ever do it again.
And, last, you’ve got work to make it up to each and every individual victim, your constituents, and your admirers. You’ve got to work to pass laws protecting women and equalizing the playing field of sexual assault, harassment, predation.
Senator Al Franken, you’ve let us down, but you can still go through this and provide some help for our society as a whole and for your victims, but you’ve gotta do it before any more women can step forward to accuse you.
I’ve been right before. I’m right about this. This is really your only shot now that there are four accusers.