Are Trump’s Tweets Evidence of His Abnormality?

Imagine you’re having a nightmare, so, of course, you wake up, only to find that you’re not awake, but still asleep and still having a nightmare! You’re having a nightmare about having a nightmare! It’s a nightmare within a nightmare! After you wake up from both the nightmare and the embedded nightmare, you are finally awake, so you go back to sleep and have yet another nightmare! That’s what we’re going through in the US of A right now! It’s a whole endless nightmare kind of thing. And just when you think it is over or couldn’t get any worse… it just keeps going and getting worse!

When you have a nightmare, there’s no one to blame, but when you have the Ol’ Pussy Grabber abusing the Resolute Desk in the Oval Office with pee-hookers and gawd knows what else, we only have ourselves to blame. The man is literally, yet allegedly, but if it comes out that it actually did happen, you have to tell everyone you read it here first, paying pee-hookers to piss on everything that Americans hold dear. Even if he isn’t literally paying pee-hookers to piss on the Resolute Desk, he is figuratively doing it, but only they’d be male hookers because he hasn’t hired many women, everyone in the admin is figuratively pissing on everything America holds dear, but they’re a bunch of men and only a few women, so the analogy is he’s hired male pee-hookers even when… What’s that mom? They do? Everybody gets it? But… But? Okay, okay, I’ll stop trying to explain it. But, still, he’s pissing on everything we hold dear. That’s the point.

If you cup your hand to your ear and concentrate on a distant sound, you’ll hear a faint ringing. That’s the death knell of America you’re hearing right there. And, nothing demonstrates the passing of America more clearly than today’s tweet from the Ol’ Pussy Grabber:

I had to fire General Flynn because he lied to the Vice President and the FBI. He has pled guilty to those lies. It is a shame because his actions during the transition were lawful. There was nothing to hide!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) December 2, 2017

You personally cannot be blamed for not fully realizing how thoroughly the Ol’ Pussy Grabber has just shot his own dick off because you are probably not well enough versed in the ins and outs of obstruction of justice laws and federal special prosecutor investigations. But, that is the dick-shot-off shot, the money shot, the cum shot. That’s what everyone fapping to the Mueller investigation hoped to climax to, but probably didn’t because who could actually fap to that mess? Honestly, sometimes I even disgust myself.

Public Confession

Let’s let The Daily Beast lawsplain it to us all from Trump [sic] Tweets He Knew Flynn Lied to FBI When He Asked Comey to ‘Let Flynn Go‘. That headline sorta says it all though it ain’t exactly elegant, but who am I to criticize? I just wrote about pee-hookers pissing on the Resolute Desk and fapping to Mueller and His Investigators.

Twilight Zone: Compound Lies

The Ol’ Pussy Grabber has just explained to Mueller that he knew Flynn had committed a crime and was guilty of it before he asked Comey to whiff on Flynn. Just like the Access Hollywood tape, he has publicly confessed to committing a major crime! He’s saying he knew Flynn had lied to the FBI, so he fired him, didn’t mention it at the time of the firing as a reason why, asked Comey to let his investigation into Flynn go, and, later, fired Comey to stop the investigation.

It was a pretty damn strong obstruction case before; it is a much stronger obstruction case now since the Ol’ Pussy Grabber tells the whole world he was consciously aware of (a) Flynn being guilty of a crime and (b) he was actively seeking to stop the investigation of the crime.

Here’s the real juicy part: Only, the tweet is probably a lie! This is that Gumby moment when they all shout, Oooh, me brain hurts!

So why’d he do write the tweet? This is perhaps the single most important question because that is what diagnosing mental health issues is all about, motivation. He didn’t tweet this tweet because he’s stupid. That’s the standard explanation that you’ll read in the social media universe. I doubt that the Ol’ Pussy Grabber is any stupider than the average person, regression to the mean, don’t you know. So, if he isn’t stupid, why’d he do it?

Executive Dysfunction or Poor Impulse Control

Overexposed: Executive Dysfunction

He tweeted this tweet because of his extreme executive dysfunction. He couldn’t resist the impulse to tweet. The time, 1:14 AM, and the extreme stress of Flynn’s plea deal being revealed has put the Ol’ Pussy Grabber under tremendous pressure TO DO SOMETHING!!?!1!! So, he turns to his go to: his tweeter. Nothing relieves pressure like wrapping your chubby stubbies around your tweeter and having a go at it, amirite?

Extreme pressure makes it even more likely that he’ll behave impulsively by taking poorly thought out actions like publicly confessing to obstruction of justice.

It is clear that he thought he was distancing himself further from Flynn by claiming to have fired him for what would be a just cause. But, it isn’t distancing himself from Flynn or Mueller’s investigation into the Ol’ Pussy Grabber for obstruction of justice or charges of colluding with Russia; it is a step closer to all three of those.

Because of his executive dysfunction — the unproductive part of his diagnosis — he can’t hold those three thoughts in his head at once. He lacks the capacity in his working memory. Like his hands, his working memory storage capacity is preternaturally small. And, if you thought men with small hands had small… then you’ve not seen what men with small working memory storage capacities are packing or not packing as it were.

He literally could not follow the associative trail that links Flynn to the Mueller investigation, which includes Mueller’s investigation of the Ol’ Pussy Grabber’s collusion with Russia AND his obstruction of justice when he fired Comey after having asked him to back off of the Flynn investigation. See, it’s complex, but yours and my associative network would’ve pinged a warning to loosen the grip those chubby stubbies have on the tweeter… you know, to take it slow… to let yourself have some time to think… or, at least, to let your associative network have time to percolate.

Extreme Narcissism

He’s a Narcissist

Not only could he not give himself the necessary time to undo this Gordian knot of associations, he could not give himself enough time to ask an expert, like his lawyer, despite the low quality of legal defense of his team. But, the motivation, the instinct, not to ask probably is rooted in his extreme narcissism.

The narcissist believes he is the smartest most capable human being that has ever lived or ever will live. He believes everything he thinks, says, or does is 100% true and truly the bestest thing that could be thunk, uttered, or did in that circumstance. If you have the bestest brain uttering all the bestest words, why the hell would you waste time waiting for the lesser mortals to wake up — why are they so angry when you call them in the middle of the night, anyway? — have their coffee and come into work?

See, geniuses (genii?) don’t sleep as much as everyone else. The Ol’ Pussy Grabber is a genius so he’s up at all hours having his genius thoughts and doing his genius things. I’m sure he sets his alarm so he can get up to tweet some nonsense at 3:00 AM just to leave the impression that he is up “working” like a genius. I’m sure his anxiety wakes him up every few hours and he putters a bit before going back to sleep. I’m sure he sleeps during the day, too.

So, this is the deal: the Ol’ Pussy Grabber’s already anxious self had its anxiety spiked by Flynn’s guilty plea to a lesser charge and light sentence (classic clues to a plea bargain that even his bargain basement legal team couldn’t’ve missed). He’s brooding and ruminating on the situation. The slow moving cogs in his frontal lobe finally turn an entire revolution and spit out this genius idea: tweet that (a) you knew all along that Flynn had lied to the FBI that way everybody will realize you’re a genius and playing 10,000 dimensional chess that only your uniquely enbiggedned brain plays and (b) Flynn hadn’t broken any laws other than lying to the FBI which he didn’t have to do so everyone will realize that you’re not guilty of collusion! If you say it, it’s true. That is one of the keys to understanding the Ol’ Pussy Grabber. He cannot distinguish between actual truth and reality and what he says. To him, they are the same thing.

Schadenfreude: Narcissism & NK Crisis

There is a deeper level of cray-cray in the Ol’ Pussy Grabber that will only get worse as pressure mounts. It isn’t the pressure from North Korea or Iran or even the tax bill, though, no matter how important the rest of us think those things are. The only things that are important to the narcissist are those that affect him personally. Those are the only things that are important to the rest of the world, too, don’t ya know, because the rest of the world thinks the narcissist’s thoughts, too. NK nukes DC, meh. The Ol’ Pussy Grabber survived. Iran nukes Saudi Arabia. It couldn’t be stopped because history. The tax bill destroys the country. The Ol’ Pussy Grabber made millions off of it. See? Those things don’t matter, so they don’t put him under any real pressure.

Mueller’s investigation, though, does matter to the Ol’ Pussy Grabber. Hearing those footsteps and feeling that damp warm breath on his neck is unnerving the gelatinous mass that rolls around the Oval Office. It will cause him to behave irrationally like maybe nuke NK or Iran or both and Saudi Arabia while he’s at it. You know nothing calms the nerves and rallies the country to your side like nuking a small unimportant country.

Repubes: The Authoritarian Party

GOP Authoritarian Party

Meanwhile, with all the crap in the air, the Repubes in Congress are going to be snatching away every progressive gain made since FDR. Look what they did with the tax bill! They’ll milk every cent from the poor and middle class that they can. They’ll approve every crackpot conservative wingnut judge that they can convince the Ol’ Pussy Grabber to appoint to ensure that their rape of the Constitution will be approved by the courts and we can live in a Repube authoritarian paradise and drink the Kool-Aid of American exceptionalism and our great shining democracy on the hill while they get richer and we live the solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short lives that God intended us to live.