This is a story that I think every man, if he is honest with himself, can tell. This fellow tells his story in refreshingly graphic detail as he delivers a blow-by-blow account of his sexual encounter with a young woman several years ago. In doing so, he clearly illustrates how every man can be a rapist and how easy it is to unknowingly slip over that line.
Reproduction is the point of life on the planet. It is our prime directive. Literally, everything else that human beings do is in service to having babies and raising them to the age of reproduction.
Having sex is the primary way and only biological way for reproducing. As such, we will go to surprisingly great lengths to have sex. Think of all the lies that people tell themselves in order to have sex: one time won’t hurt, she wants it as much as I do, I can change him or her, oral sex isn’t really sex.
And, for men, at least, as arousal increases, empathy decreases. This story is a clear example of that. The little head ain’t got no empathy, and once the little head gets going, it takes a lot for the big head to change directions. In this case, this fellows big head reimposed empathy into the equation.
You should read the article and let me know what you think in the comments. #IveBeenThatGuy
I thought I was one of the good guys. Then I read the Aziz Ansari story.
She told me to stop. I ignored her. It took me years to realize how wrong I was.
Last week, I read the Babe.net article describing an encounter between comedian Aziz Ansari and a woman identified only as “Grace.” I read about how Ansari allegedly pushed past several verbal and nonverbal cues suggesting that Grace was not comfortable with their sexual encounter. I had a sickening moment of truth: I’ve done that.
It was just over four years ago. I was 22, newly single, and in college. I had just broken up with my long-distance girlfriend of five years and had spent the past few years hearing all about my friends’ and roommates’ hookups. I was excited to be single and date around. I kept a mental list of several women around school whom I wanted to sleep with.
I had an acquaintance, “Julie,” who was on that list. I’m not using her real name here, and I’m writing this piece anonymously, to protect both of our privacy. We had been to parties together, laughed together, and on a couple of occasions, I had walked her home. We liked each other enough to flirt, which eventually turned into the occasional texting conversation or phone call. I got the sense she was attracted to me.
Continue reading at Vox: I thought I was one of the good guys. Then I read the Aziz Ansari story. – Vox