Stop me if you’ve heard this one before! Okay, okay, so an economics advisor walks into the Oval Office and steals a letter from the puddle of pee left by a pee-hooker on the Resolute Desk! Oh, you’ve heard it? It would be funny if it weren’t so fucking scary and sad, wouldn’t it?

The letter in question was one that would take United Fucking States of Fucking Stupid out of the free-trade agreement that we have with South Korea, you know our major ally in Northeast Asia where we have 28,500 troops stationed to stare down the rusting artillery and unfueled tanks and starving ranks of North Korea’s armed forces. You know the one that is worth $145 billion of tariff-free trade that keeps their and our economies going? You know the one that would be fucking idiotic to withdraw from because of all of the economic and geopolitical ramifications that it would have on our best interests? You know, that one!

According to Bob Woodward’s about-to-be released book, Fear, Gary Cohn decided to filch the letter out of the puddle of pee-hooker pee that is staining the Resolute Desk and our American values because he figured outa sight, outa mind. At least for the Ol’ Pussy Grabber, amirite?

This is just one of two examples of the Ol’ Pussy Grabber’s executive dysfunction that was in today’s news. The other example staining the news cycle issued forth when he squeezed his tweeter between his chubby lil stubbies and created this ode to obstruction of justice:

Two long running, Obama era, investigations of two very popular Republican Congressmen were brought to a well publicized charge, just ahead of the Mid-Terms, by the Jeff Sessions Justice Department. Two easy wins now in doubt because there is not enough time. Good job Jeff……

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) September 3, 2018

People rightly ask because they are justifiably befuddled by self-destructive idiotic behavior like this, how could a major economic policy change just be forgotten about and left unexecuted simply because the letter disappeared off the desk? I mean, if your spouse filched the credit card bill because he didn’t want you to see the charge to the downtown hotel he made on it, you wouldn’t just forget that you hadn’t paid the bill right? You’d remember that the bills had to be paid, and you’d go looking for it. You know, that is a totally random example. It was even hard to think of it. Honest. I never told my wife that I was at a professional training out-of-town and then spent the weekend at a downtown hotel. No. Not me.

So, why’d the Ol’ Pussy Grabber want to pull an ass-in-nine stunt (he thinks it is a feat in golf, I’m sure) like pull us out of a mutually highly beneficial free-trade agreement with a major ally? Then, why’d he forget about it once the letter disappeared? Executive dysfunction has three major effects in this scenario.

Dysregulation of Emotion and Impulses

Executive dysfunction means that you can’t regulate your emotions and impulses. The Ol’ Pussy Grabber doesn’t understand rudimentary economics or basic business transactions — hell, he can’t even pay his bills or even understand the effect that a soiled reputation has on future financial loan applications — much less complex international economics. He jus’ figgers trade agreements is bad because the stooges won’t be able to figger out he don’t know.

He can’t keep it straight that there are TWO Koreas, too. One is our friend, and it is in the southern half of the peninsula, and the other is our enemy, and it is in the north. It is so complicated and confusing. Who knew international relations could be so difficult? Apparently, no one did until the very stable genius came along and untangled that Gordian knot and spilled the beans to the stooges at the rallies. So, he hears Korea, and he jus’ thinks that they are bad because it hurts his best brain to think about it further. He can’t manage the emotion and impulse that results from his failed effort of concentration.

Poor Concentration and Learning

The OPG Fights w/ Everyone

Also, if he fights with allies and cozies up to enemies, then everyone is confused and he can claim he is playing elebity hundred billionth dimensional chest with his be best brain and that it is all just the art of the deal that we can’t figger out cuz we ain’t the world’s greatest negotiator. Mass confusion and fighting is the friend of the utterly confused, befuddled, and unprepared. As long as you’re fighting no one will realize that you don’t know nothin. He don’t know nothin because his executive dysfunction prevents him from concentrating on anything long enough to learn it. He’s just coverin his, literally, dumb ass by picking these seemingly useless pointless fights.

Short Attention Span and Limited Working Memory

Trump, the Election, & the 7 Sins of Memory

Forgetting to withdraw is just something the Ol’ Pussy Grabber does to torture and annoy women, and his executive dysfunction prevented him from figuring out that it isn’t the same thing when you’re withdrawing from trade deals. And, you have to be paying attention in the first place. Executive dysfunction means you are easily distracted so very little makes it through your attentional filter and into your already tiny working memory. And if it ain’t in your working memory,, it don’t make it into long-term memory. It is just that simple.

See how that works? Well, a similar thing is happening over at the old tweeter farm only this time it is exacerbated by the increasingly frequent and increasingly sever anxiety attacks he is experiencing over his deepening legal jeopardy.

Politicizing the DoJ

The WATCH: Fox & Friends

It isn’t so much that the Ol’ Pussy Grabber sees nothing wrong with using the organs of the federal government for political purposes like deferred prosecution of political friends and unjustified imprisonment of political opponents as it is he can’t manage his impulses and emotions.

The increasing stress and anxiety about his legal problems taxes his limited mental energy, so he has even less to devote to his limited ability to manage his emotions and impulses. The result is even wilder and more frequent mood swings and even greater impulsiveness.

Since the narcissist thinks that everyone will agree with the thoughts he’s having once they find out about them, he sees nothing wrong with telling people what he’s thinking. He is a very stable genius with the best brain and the best words and the world’s best negotiating skills, after all. He really thinks his own bull shit smells like chocolate. He really thinks he can do no wrong. And, he really thinks only he can save himself.

His narcissism and his executive dysfunction come together to produce a wildly inappropriate tweet like that one. He cannot concentrate hard enough to separate the fantasy of the DoJ deferring prosecution of blatantly criminal wrong doing by Repube Congress folk because it will hurt the Repube chances of retaining control of the House and make it more likely that he’ll be impeached from the reality that the DoJ cannot work that way. Even if he were actually engaged in a conspiracy — and he might be — to intimidate the DoJ to limiting politically damaging prosecutions, he can’t concentrate hard enough to prevent himself from tweeting out loud the parts that you think but don’t make public knowledge.

It is literally too much for his pre-frontal cortex — the part of the brain that manages planning, rational thought, impulses, emotions, attention, and concentration — to contend with, so he ends up tweeting and saying things that are just down right foolish…. and, with any luck, will get him thrown in jail some day soon.