The Ol’ Pussy Grabber takes his tweeter in his chubby stubbies and chokes out a particularly sweet tweet declaring ISIS defeated and the withdrawal or US forces from Syria. Apparently, it was such spontaneous decision that when reporters asked officials at the Pentagon about it, they were referred to the White House, and when reporters asked officials at the White House about it, they were referred to the Pentagon in an endless loop of the blind leading the stupid through a Sisyphusian exercise in futility.

I would embed the tweet, but Twitter has suspended my account due to suspicious activity — pimping the blog? using a VPN? posting snarky, sarcasticky, profaney thoughts? — and, now that the VPN has expired, I can’t access Twitter to even complain! So, there’s that. But according to the CNN article, the tweet read in part, We have defeated ISIS in Syria, my only reason for being there during the Trump Presidency. In a video statement accompanying the tweet, he went on to detail his thoughts on having defeated ISIS, which apparently hadn’t gotten the Tweet about having been defeated and executed an attack in Raqqa about the same time: We’ve beaten them and we’ve beaten them badly. We’ve taken back the land. And now it’s time for our troops to come back home.

Predictably, the pundit class goes crazy and starts laying down a ton of criticism. Presidential allies like Sister Lindsey “blast” him for making an Obamaian mistake. Understandably, US allies like the Kurds are distressed, and Turkey, delighted because they would really like to genocide the Kurds if the US would just get out of the way. At the very least, we’re letting the Kurds twist in the winds of fate… AGAIN! Christ, can you believe we’re leaving the Kurds in a deadly lurch, again? Okay, yes, yes, we can believe it.

To their credit many have cited this capricious announcement as an attempt to distract from the disastrous weak the Ol’ Pussy Grabber and friends and family are having in the courts. But, is it really a premeditated plan of distraction or just a knee-jerk reaction? No one knows for sure, but my money is on the jerk, if you know what I mean.

The Ol’ Pussy Grabber suffers from extreme executive dysfunction, which means he cannot plan, he cannot execute a plan, he cannot manage his emotions and impulses, and he cannot think rationally. As the pressure on him mounts — by some counts, up to seventeen! — his executive functioning breaks down even further.

Stress releases a terrible series of effects on the brain and body. Initially, it is to help you fight or flight, which can be great if a pride of lions is bearing down on you. But, if the stress is prolonged or frequent, it can be quite toxic, especially to your brain, specifically to the pre-frontal cortex, which is the part that is responsible for your rational thinking and planning and managing your emotions and impulses, i.e. executive functions. So, when the Ol’ Pussy Grabber is under extreme stress, and let’s face it the ongoing NY state probe into the Trump Foundation is probably a significant stressor given that it puts him and his children into direct legal jeopardy that he cannot buy, intimidate, or pardon his way out of.

Essentially, he’s reached, at the very least, a localized peak in his stress and has just done the most dramatic thing that he could think of that is furthest removed from all of the investigations he’s currently facing. Not to mention that he just had his ass handed to him over the wall and has just wilted in the face of Congressional opposition. So, red bloody meat — literally? — for the base!

Occam’s Razor suggests that simplest explanation is the likeliest, but this is the Ol’ Pussy Grabber we’re discussing, so we have to consider the other likely explanation: corruption. Who stands to benefit from this “decision?” Certainly not the men and women we have on the ground in harm’s way. This puts them in significant jeopardy. Certainly not our allies in Syria, the Kurds, it puts them in significant jeopardy.

But, it does help Erdogan of Turkey because it frees his hand to commit mass atrocities against the Kurds. And, the Turks have had a direct line into the Ol’ Pussy Grabber’s ear since they bought Mike Flynn lock, stock, and barrel, and didn’t Ol’ Mike Flynn secret foreign agent while working as national security advisor to the candidate and maybe, probably?, as the National Security Advisor for the country just have a disastrous sentencing hearing for his attempts to work for the Turkish government?

But, it does help Russia in their effort to consolidate their geo-political gains in the Mid-East. And, Putin has been playing the Ol’ Pussy Grabber like a balalaika since they first met.

But, it does help Saudi Arabia and Crown Prince Mohammad Bone Saw because any destabilization of the region gives him an excuse to go after opponents both foreign and domestic and to justify developing nuclear weapons to counter Iran. And, the Sauds have all the favors out of the Ol’ Pussy Grabber that emoluments can buy not to mention that MBS wears Jared Kushner’s mummified penis and scrotal sack as a pendant around his neck.

How will we know whether the Ol’ Pussy Grabber used his bestest thinking most stable genius brain to think up this genius move or was he “forced” to do this in service to a foreign master — can we be certain he is the master of his domain? — who is able to blackmail or bribe him? How the fuck can we trust that this ridiculous move is not due to corruption but to his own executive dysfunction?

Likely as not, it is a witch’s brew of all of them. Whenever someone can get the highly agitated and distracted Pussy Grabber’s attention, they probably try to slip some word in about one or more of these “ideas,” but are never quite sure if they’ve reached him. And, now they’re all surprised at what has popped out after having distilled in his weird twisted psyche. Who in the Pentagon or State Department is thinking, That’s NOT what we meant!I know, All of them, Katie!

That’s why we’re so fucked. It doesn’t matter whether the military brass who really do have brass balls can back the Ol’ Pussy Grabber off this decision like the brass ovaried Nancy Pelosi backed him the fuck off his wall funding. It doesn’t matter that he had some super secret bebestest major stable genius plan to distract us all from his pending New York state indictments and the forced on the court-record confession of Mike Flynn that he knowingly lied to the FBI knowing that lying to the FBI at any time would be a felony or if he just thought it was a good idea or its a brain fart from his executive dysfunction because we can never be sure any decision he makes isn’t a self-serving choice at the expense of the country.