The Ol’ Pussy Grabber spilled his guts to Bob Woodward over the phone — on tape no less — and the whole world has lost its mind. Why in the world would the Ol’ Pussy Grabber tell Bob Woodward that he KNEW the covfefevirus was air borne, very contagious, worse than the flu and far more deadly when he’d been telling the American people that the whole thing was a hoax, no worse than the flu, and would be gone like a miracle? Why would he tell Bob Woodward that we had a new super-nuclear weapon? Describing how Kim Jong-Un murdered his uncle and protecting MBS for the murder of Khashoggi? Why in the world would he TELL Bob Woodward that stuff? Why would he even TALK to Bob Woodward in the first place?
Seriously, we’re going to lose our minds over this? Like what, you didn’t know that the Ol’ Pussy Grabber was the most prolific liar in the country? He was “downplaying” the covfefevirus to boost his ego and election chances? He gave absolutely zero shits whether real live dead Americans were dead?
Why’d he do it? Why’d the most prolific liar in the history of the world tell Bob Woodward the truth on tape?
First, he’s a narcissist. Let’s revisit the list of symptoms of a narcissist from that oldie but goodie, The Narcissism of Donald J. Trump. Feel free to skip past the list, but you’ll be missing one of the best snarky, sarcasticky, and profaney renditions of narcissistic personality disorder on the Internet today, and, spoiler alert, they all describe the Ol’ Pussy Grabber to a tee.
- Deluding yourself that you are exceptional even if you haven’t ever done anything exceptional except being an exceptional ASShole
- Lying through your teeth about everything you’ve done and your talents and your skills
- Fapping to fantasies of your own success, power, brilliance, beauty
- Needing to have your ass-kissed constantly
- Needing special favors and exceptions to be made for you because you are some kind of a special fragile snowflake
- Expecting others to ask how high after you’ve screamed jump at them and like it!
- Taking advantage of others to get what you want
- Being an insensitive asshole unable to acknowledge the emotions or needs of others or even that others exist outside of the purpose of meeting your needs
- Seeing everyone around you as being green with envy for you and your bullshit
- Being a stuck-up shit like some little queen-bee high school mean girl
Okay, this explains why the Ol’ Pussy Grabber lied to all of us about the covfefevirus, expected to get away with it, and expects us to let him get away with it after the lie is revealed, but what in the list explains his motivation to talk to Bob Woodward in the first place?
The Very Model of a Modern Stable Genius
Remember he’s the very model of the modern stable genius (#1), right? And, he thinks his evil genius plans are too sophisticated for the rest of us to even comprehend (#3), so it allows him to take advantage of everyone around him (#7). Remember, also, that it is no fun being the very model of a modern stable genius with evil super genius plans unless someone knows about them, but having someone with high status being green with envy for you and your bullshit (#9) is BETTER than having the average little person envying you, which he believes to his empty cold shell of a heart that we all do.
I mean, he’s got Bob Fucking All the President’s Men Woodward sitting right there interviewing him! It must mean he’s a big fucking deal, right? He didn’t call out to Melanie that he was being interviewed by Bob Fucking All the President’s Men Woodward when she wandered through the Oval for nothing — probably thought he was getting laid that night, amiright, she would be so impressed. And, probably disappointed that it wasn’t Iwankalot. Also, he was trying to impress Woodward with his props: pictures of him and Kim Jong-Un and whatnot. And, also, too, the Ol’ Pussy Grabber called Woodward on more than one occasion.
It all adds up to, the Ol’ Pussy Grabber was showing off. He wanted to impress Woodward with his evil super genius plan of smoothing over the whole covfefevirus thing by telling people it would go away so they would continue to go to work, buy shit, and not notice that they were all dying horrible deaths. Who better to impress than Bob Fucking All the President’s Men Woodward?
He needed to use Bob Woodward, too. Bob Woodward had written an unflattering book about the Ol’ Pussy Grabber in year 18. The Ol’ Pussy Grabber figgered if he talked to him, Bob Woodward would write the truth that the Ol’ Pussy Grabber is the very model of a modern stable genius, the be bestest occupier who ever paid pee-hookers to piss on the Resolute Desk, the Constitution, and American values. It was genius, sheer genius. Everyone would say so.
But, at the same time, he needed Bob Woodward to know how smart he was that he knew everything there was to know about the covfefevirus. So, he had to tell him the real for real facts about the covfefevirus, so Woodward would know that he knew and could appreciate his super genius plan of beating the covfefevirus at its own game.
Didn’t the Ol’ Pussy Grabber know that Woodward would just publish it all in his book? No, silly. The Ol’ Pussy Grabber knew that Woodward would make an exception for HIM (#5)! He knew no one would mind his slight of hand and daring-do to keep the economy open and chugging along so that Americans could re-elect their be bestest favoritest occupier of the Oval.
Second, he’s a sadist. He’s got a mean streak. He loves hurting people. He loves watching them squirm. He is enjoying the deaths of 197,000+ Americans. Certainly, no one else in American history is directly responsible for the deaths of so many in so short of a time. He is enjoying the devastating disease that 6.6 million real live Americans have. He is enjoying watching the nation’s governors scramble for supplies and equipment knowing that were he just slightly more competent and caring, he could supply. He’s enjoying all of the fear, angst, foreboding, and strife that he’s causing.
And, it feeds his bloated delusional ego. He’s doing it. He must be powerful. It is all about him.
And third, his executive dysfunction causes him to blurt whatever he is thinking. He’s taking a beating in the polls, so it’s on his mind a lot. He enjoys impressing Bob Woodward, so what’s any half-baked narcissist to do in those circumstances? He’s going to tell Bob Woodward all the cool crap he’s got access to and knows about. He just blurts it out. And if Bob Woodward doesn’t happen to be sitting right in front of him or on the phone with him, he’ll call him! He’ll call him and tell him. He cannot contain himself.
Again and again, we come back to it is dangerous, deadly, debilitating to have someone who is so mentally ill paying pee-hookers to piss on the Resolute Desk, the Constitution, and American values in the Oval Office. He is perfectly happy and willing to kill us all and destroy the nation just to maintain his bloated egotistical delusion of perfection just a second longer.
Sign of Life
Seriously, here we are, AGAIN, at the end of another stellar 10-out-of-10 blog post explaining life using psychology, so why not let me know that you’ve arrived? Blogging is a lonely business, perhaps you remember me saying that. So, here take your pick from this lovely menu of options:
See, man? You’ve got options, which, science fact, makes for good mental health.